{"id":1675,"date":"2011-07-23T06:26:57","date_gmt":"2011-07-23T06:26:57","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-08-07T06:13:51","modified_gmt":"2011-08-07T06:13:51","slug":"penis-demands-a-raise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1675\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/penis-demands-a-raise\/","title":{"rendered":"Penis demands a raise"},"content":{"rendered":"

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:<\/p>\n

* I do physical labor
\n* I work at great depths
\n* I work head first
\n* I do not get weekends off or public holidays
\n* I work in a damp environment
\n* I don’t get paid overtime or shift penalties
\n* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
\n* I work in high temperatures
\n* My work exposes me to contagious diseases<\/p>\n

Response from the administration:<\/strong>
\nAfter assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:<\/p>\n

* You do not work 8 hours straight
\n* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
\n*You do not always follow the orders of the management team
\n* You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
\n* You take a lot of non-roistered breaks
\n* You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
\n* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
\n* You don’t always observe H&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective gear
\n* You don’t wait till pension age before retiring
\n* You don’t like working double shifts
\n* You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day’s work
\n* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: * I do physical labor * I work at great depths * I work head first * I do not get weekends off or public holidays * … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,21],"tags":[438,406],"class_list":["post-1675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-penis","tag-salary"],"yoast_head":"\nPenis demands a raise -Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes - 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