{"id":1626,"date":"2012-03-27T07:15:31","date_gmt":"2012-03-27T07:15:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1626\/people-jokes\/how-was-man-created\/"},"modified":"2012-03-11T08:26:53","modified_gmt":"2012-03-11T08:26:53","slug":"how-was-man-created","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1626\/people-jokes\/how-was-man-created\/","title":{"rendered":"How was man created?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"funny-and-sexy-ads-flirt-vodka\"After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. “How’s things, Eve?” He asked.
\n“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are
\nbreathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just
\nhave this one problem. It’s these three breasts you’ve given me. The
\nmiddle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with
\nmy arms, catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes, they’re a real
\npain,” reported Eve.<\/p>\n

“That’s a fair point,” replied God, “but it was my first shot at this,
\nyou know. I gave the animals what, six? So I just figured you’d need half,
\nbut I see that you are right. I’ll fix that up right away!”<\/p>\n

So God reaches down and rips the middle breast right off, tossing it into
\nthe bushes. Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the
\ngarden.<\/p>\n

“Well, Eve, how’s my favorite creation?” He asked.<\/p>\n

“Just fantastic,” she replied, “but for one small oversight on your part.
\nYou see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram,
\nthe cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate, except me. I feel so
\nalone.”<\/p>\n

God thought for a moment. “You know, Eve, you’re right. How could I have
\noverlooked this! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from
\na part of you! Now, let’s see … where did I leave that useless tit?<\/strong>“.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. “How’s things, Eve?” He asked. “It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[201,3,21],"tags":[566,251,367,647,35,34,1143,1097,33],"class_list":["post-1626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-jokes","category-people-jokes","category-relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes","tag-breast","tag-bull","tag-cow","tag-eve","tag-god","tag-man","tag-mate","tag-tit","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nHow was man created? 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Why did you make her so beautiful?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "American Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"American Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/american-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"nice-boobs","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/nice-boobs-400x298.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1916,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1916\/relationship-marriage-and-sex-jokes\/adam-and-eve-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":1626,"position":5},"title":"Adam and Eve","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 24, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. \"You\u2019re running around with other women,\" she told her mate. \"Eve, honey, you\u2019re being unreasonable,\" Adam responded. \"You know you\u2019re the only woman on earth.\" The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Church and God Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Church and God Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/church-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"save-a-virgin-do-me-instead","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/save-a-virgin-do-me-instead.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1626"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1626\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}