{"id":1534,"date":"2013-06-03T03:27:17","date_gmt":"2013-06-03T03:27:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1534\/office-jokes\/rules-for-work\/"},"modified":"2013-05-25T05:05:16","modified_gmt":"2013-05-25T05:05:16","slug":"rules-for-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1534\/office-jokes\/rules-for-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Rules for work"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7551\" alt=\"bear-playing-camera\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/bear-playing-camera-400x580.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"580\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/bear-playing-camera-400x580.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/bear-playing-camera-150x217.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/bear-playing-camera.jpg 570w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>1.\u00a0 Never give me work in the morning. \u00a0 Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.\u00a0 The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.<\/p>\n<p>2.\u00a0 If it&#8217;s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it&#8217;s going.\u00a0 That helps.\u00a0 Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.<\/p>\n<p>3.\u00a0 Always leave without telling anyone where you&#8217;re going.\u00a0 It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.<\/p>\n<p>4.\u00a0 If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don&#8217;t open the door for me.\u00a0 I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.<\/p>\n<p>5.\u00a0 If you give me more than one job to do, don&#8217;t tell me which is priority.\u00a0 I am psychic.<\/p>\n<p>6.\u00a0 Do your best to keep me late.\u00a0 I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.\u00a0 I have no life beyond work.<\/p>\n<p>7.\u00a0 If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.\u00a0 If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.<\/p>\n<p>8.\u00a0 If you don&#8217;t like my work, tell everyone.\u00a0 I like my name to be popular in conversations.\u00a0 I was born to be whipped.<\/p>\n<p>9.\u00a0 If you have special instructions for a job, don&#8217;t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.\u00a0 No use confusing me with useful information.<\/p>\n<p>10.\u00a0 Never introduce me to the people you&#8217;re with.\u00a0 I have no right to know anything.\u00a0 In the corporate food chain, I am plankton.\u00a0 When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.<\/p>\n<p>11.\u00a0 Be nice to me only when the job I&#8217;m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers&#8217; hell.<\/p>\n<p>12.\u00a0 Tell me all your little problems. \u00a0 No one else has any and it&#8217;s nice to know someone is less fortunate.\u00a0 I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.<\/p>\n<p>13.\u00a0 Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating \u00a0 with a cost of living increase. I&#8217;m not here for the money anyway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1534\/office-jokes\/rules-for-work\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>1.\u00a0 Never give me work in the morning. \u00a0 Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.\u00a0 The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2.\u00a0 If it&#8217;s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1534\/office-jokes\/rules-for-work\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[18,20],"tags":[105,424,493],"class_list":["post-1534","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-office-jokes","category-top-10-list","tag-job","tag-rule","tag-work"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Rules for work -Office Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1534\/office-jokes\/rules-for-work\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Rules for work -Office Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2. If it&#039;s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it&#039;s going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke. 3. Always leave without telling anyone where you&#039;re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. 4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don&#039;t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs. 5. If you give me more than one job to do, don&#039;t tell me which is priority. I am psychic. 6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work. 7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion. 8. If you don&#039;t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped. 9. If you have special instructions for a job, don&#039;t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information. 10. Never introduce me to the people you&#039;re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them. 11. Be nice to me only when the job I&#039;m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers&#039; hell. 12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it&#039;s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager. 13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I&#039;m not here for the money anyway.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1534\/office-jokes\/rules-for-work\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-03T03:27:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/bear-playing-camera-400x580.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1534\\\/office-jokes\\\/rules-for-work\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1534\\\/office-jokes\\\/rules-for-work\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"Rules for work\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-06-03T03:27:17+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1534\\\/office-jokes\\\/rules-for-work\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":395,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1534\\\/office-jokes\\\/rules-for-work\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/07\\\/bear-playing-camera-400x580.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"job\",\"rule\",\"work\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Office Jokes\",\"Top 10 List\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1534\\\/office-jokes\\\/rules-for-work\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1534\\\/office-jokes\\\/rules-for-work\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1534\\\/office-jokes\\\/rules-for-work\\\/\",\"name\":\"Rules for work -Office Jokes, Top 10 List - 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