{"id":1530,"date":"2013-05-28T04:05:14","date_gmt":"2013-05-28T04:05:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1530\/top-10-list\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\/"},"modified":"2013-05-25T04:38:06","modified_gmt":"2013-05-25T04:38:06","slug":"10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1530\/top-10-list\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\/","title":{"rendered":"10 things your mom would never say to you"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7553\" alt=\"combing-hais-mother-and-daughters\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/combing-hais-mother-and-daughters-400x334.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"334\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/combing-hais-mother-and-daughters-400x334.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/combing-hais-mother-and-daughters-150x125.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/combing-hais-mother-and-daughters.jpg 570w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?<\/p>\n<p>9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.<\/p>\n<p>8. Let me smell that shirt &#8212; Yeah, it&#8217;s good for another week.<\/p>\n<p>7. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I&#8217;ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.<\/p>\n<p>6. That outfit isn&#8217;t sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.<\/p>\n<p>5. Why don&#8217;t you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.<\/p>\n<p>4. The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It&#8217;s not like I&#8217;m running a prison around here.<\/p>\n<p>3. Don&#8217;t clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look like crap.<\/p>\n<p>2. Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?<\/p>\n<p>1. Naw, you don&#8217;t have to call me, I&#8217;ll eventually figure it out if you&#8217;re in trouble.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1530\/top-10-list\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt &#8212; Yeah, it&#8217;s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1530\/top-10-list\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[222,42,20,339],"tags":[1331,476,144],"class_list":["post-1530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-jokes","category-kids-jokes","category-top-10-list","category-your-momma-jokes","tag-kid","tag-mother","tag-top-10-list-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>10 things your mom would never say to you -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List, Your Momma Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1530\/top-10-list\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 things your mom would never say to you -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List, Your Momma Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it&#039;s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I&#039;ll be glad to feed and walk him every day. 6. That outfit isn&#039;t sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse. 5. Why don&#039;t you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper. 4. The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It&#039;s not like I&#039;m running a prison around here. 3. Don&#039;t clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look like crap. 2. Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs? 1. Naw, you don&#039;t have to call me, I&#039;ll eventually figure it out if you&#039;re in trouble.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1530\/top-10-list\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-05-28T04:05:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/combing-hais-mother-and-daughters-400x334.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1530\\\/top-10-list\\\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1530\\\/top-10-list\\\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"10 things your mom would never say to you\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-05-28T04:05:14+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1530\\\/top-10-list\\\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":146,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1530\\\/top-10-list\\\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/07\\\/combing-hais-mother-and-daughters-400x334.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"kid\",\"mother\",\"top 10 list\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Family Jokes\",\"Kids Jokes\",\"Top 10 List\",\"Your Momma Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1530\\\/top-10-list\\\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1530\\\/top-10-list\\\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1530\\\/top-10-list\\\/10-things-your-mom-would-never-say-to-you\\\/\",\"name\":\"10 things your mom would never say to you -Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List, Your Momma Jokes - 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