{"id":1338,"date":"2011-07-06T12:22:02","date_gmt":"2011-07-06T12:22:02","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-07-06T12:22:02","modified_gmt":"2011-07-06T12:22:02","slug":"obnoxious-pool-fun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1338\/sports-jokes\/obnoxious-pool-fun\/","title":{"rendered":"Obnoxious pool fun"},"content":{"rendered":"

*Stand on top of the high board and say you won’t come down until your demands are met.<\/p>\n

*Tell the lifeguards that they aren’t doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.<\/p>\n

*Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.<\/p>\n

*Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.<\/p>\n

*Take a flutter board and pretend you can’t swim.<\/p>\n

*Hit strangers with your flutter board.<\/p>\n

*Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.<\/p>\n

*Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ”Oh yeah… oooh that feels soooo good….”<\/p>\n

*Sit on the top of the water slide and don’t move.<\/p>\n

*Swim near a stranger and go ”Dammit I knew I shouldn’t have had watermelon before I came here.”<\/p>\n

*Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.<\/p>\n

*Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ”HA-HA, fooled you!”
\n*Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
\n*Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.<\/p>\n

*Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool.<\/p>\n

*Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.<\/p>\n

*Try to negotiate the price of getting in.<\/p>\n

*Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.<\/p>\n

*When in line, ask strangers if they think invisble people get a discount.<\/p>\n

*Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say ”Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around.<\/p>\n

*Hit strangers with your wet towel.<\/p>\n

*Throw people’s things into the pool.<\/p>\n

*Sing and dance on top of the dinving board, then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale. *Play Marco-Polo by yourself.<\/p>\n

*Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

*Stand on top of the high board and say you won’t come down until your demands are met. *Tell the lifeguards that they aren’t doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today. *Ask people if … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[17],"tags":[818,245],"class_list":["post-1338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sports-jokes","tag-pool","tag-swim"],"yoast_head":"\nObnoxious pool fun -Sports Jokes - 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