{"id":127,"date":"2012-02-18T05:02:51","date_gmt":"2012-02-18T05:02:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/127\/animal-jokes\/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road\/"},"modified":"2012-02-12T07:47:48","modified_gmt":"2012-02-12T07:47:48","slug":"why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/127\/animal-jokes\/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road\/","title":{"rendered":"Why did the chicken cross the road?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"funny-and-sexy-ads-flirt-vodka\"Why did the chicken cross the road?<\/p>\n

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.<\/p>\n

PLATO: For the greater good of man.<\/p>\n

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.<\/p>\n

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.<\/p>\n

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.<\/p>\n

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.<\/p>\n

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.<\/p>\n

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.<\/p>\n

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.<\/p>\n

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.<\/p>\n

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken ‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.<\/p>\n

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.<\/p>\n

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.<\/p>\n

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?<\/p>\n

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.<\/p>\n

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.<\/p>\n

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”<\/p>\n

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.<\/p>\n

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.<\/p>\n

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”<\/p>\n

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.<\/p>\n

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.<\/p>\n

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.<\/p>\n

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.<\/p>\n

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?<\/p>\n

BILL CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.
\nL.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out.
\nDr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
\nGrandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
\nAristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
\nBill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good of man. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. TIMOTHY … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,3,14,191],"tags":[291,295,290,211,292,289,293,294,1106,154],"class_list":["post-127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animal-jokes","category-people-jokes","category-politician-jokes","category-science-jokes","tag-albert-einstein","tag-aristotle","tag-bill-clinton","tag-bill-gates","tag-charless-darwin","tag-chicken","tag-martin-luther-king","tag-plato","tag-road","tag-sex"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy did the chicken cross the road? -Animal Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes, Science Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/127\/animal-jokes\/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why did the chicken cross the road? -Animal Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes, Science Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good of man. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. 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To get to the ''Shell'' station!","rel":"","context":"In "Animal Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Animal Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/animal-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-real-milk-shake","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-real-milk-shake.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":212,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/212\/animal-jokes\/thaw-the-chicken\/","url_meta":{"origin":127,"position":3},"title":"Thaw the chicken","author":"JokesLab","date":"November 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Animal Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Animal Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/animal-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-wrong-job-fun-car-operator","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-wrong-job-fun-car-operator-400x513.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":414,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/414\/blonde-jokes\/tennis-balls\/","url_meta":{"origin":127,"position":4},"title":"Tennis balls","author":"JokesLab","date":"May 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blonde Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"tennisball-field-staring-at-boobs","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/tennisball-field-staring-at-boobs-400x523.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1006,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1006\/restaurant-jokes\/kfc-our-daily-chicken\/","url_meta":{"origin":127,"position":5},"title":"KFC: our daily chicken","author":"JokesLab","date":"July 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change \"The Lord's Prayer\" from \"give us this day our daily bread\" to \"give us this day our daily chicken.\" The Pope refused his offer. 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