{"id":1166,"date":"2012-08-01T04:06:43","date_gmt":"2012-08-01T04:06:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1166\/office-jokes\/50-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator\/"},"modified":"2012-07-29T04:59:58","modified_gmt":"2012-07-29T04:59:58","slug":"50-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1166\/office-jokes\/50-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator\/","title":{"rendered":"50 fun things to do in an elevator"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-7047\" title=\"funny-sex-harasssment-who-did-it\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-sex-harasssment-who-did-it1-400x299.jpg\" alt=\"funny-sex-harasssment-who-did-it\" width=\"400\" height=\"299\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-sex-harasssment-who-did-it1-400x299.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-sex-harasssment-who-did-it1-150x112.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-sex-harasssment-who-did-it1.jpg 550w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.<br \/>\n2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.<br \/>\n3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, &#8220;Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!&#8221;<br \/>\n4. Whistle the first seven notes of &#8216;It&#8217;s a Small World&#8217; incessantly.<br \/>\n5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.<br \/>\n6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you&#8217;re on rough seas.<br \/>\n7. Shave. (Especially if you&#8217;re a woman.)<br \/>\n8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: &#8220;Got enough air in there?&#8221;<br \/>\n9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.<br \/>\n10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.<br \/>\n11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.<br \/>\n12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: &#8220;Noogie patrol coming!&#8221;<br \/>\n13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, &#8220;Admiral&#8221;.<br \/>\n14. One word: Flatulence!<br \/>\n15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go &#8220;plink&#8221; at the bottom.<br \/>\n16. Do Tai Chi exercises.<br \/>\n17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, &#8220;I&#8217;ve got new socks on!&#8221;<br \/>\n18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, &#8220;Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!&#8221;<br \/>\n19. Give religious literature to each passenger.<br \/>\n20. Meow occasionally.<br \/>\n21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.<br \/>\n22. Frown and mutter &#8220;Gotta go, gotta go,&#8221; then sigh and say, &#8220;oops!&#8221;<br \/>\n23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.<br \/>\n24. Sing, &#8220;Mary Had a Little Lamb,&#8221; while continually pushing buttons.<br \/>\n25. Holler, &#8220;Chutes away!&#8221; whenever the elevator descends.<br \/>\n26. Walk on with a cooler that says &#8220;human head&#8221; on the side.<br \/>\n27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, &#8220;You&#8217;re one of THEM!&#8221; and move to the far corner of the elevator.<br \/>\n28. Burp, and then say &#8220;Mmmm&#8230;tasty!&#8221;<br \/>\n29. Leave a box between the doors.<br \/>\n30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.<br \/>\n31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.<br \/>\n32. Start a sing-along.<br \/>\n33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, &#8220;Is that your beeper?&#8221;<br \/>\n34. Play the harmonica.<br \/>\n35. Shadow box.<br \/>\n36. Say, &#8220;Ding!&#8221; at each floor.<br \/>\n37. Lean against the button panel.<br \/>\n38. Say, &#8220;I wonder what all these do,&#8221; and push the red buttons.<br \/>\n39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.<br \/>\n40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your &#8220;personal space&#8221;.<br \/>\n41. Bring a chair along.<br \/>\n42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: &#8220;Wanna see wha in muh mouf?&#8221;<br \/>\n43. Blow spit bubbles.<br \/>\n44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.<br \/>\n45. Announce in a demonic voice: &#8220;I must find a more suitable host body.&#8221;<br \/>\n46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.<br \/>\n47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.<br \/>\n48. Wear &#8220;X-Ray Specs&#8221; and leer suggestively at other passengers.<br \/>\n49. Stare at your thumb and say, &#8220;I think it&#8217;s getting larger.&#8221;<br \/>\n50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, &#8220;Bad touch!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1166\/office-jokes\/50-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, &#8220;Shut up, dammit, all &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1166\/office-jokes\/50-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[18,20],"tags":[587,148,765,1074,114,144],"class_list":["post-1166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-office-jokes","category-top-10-list","tag-annoying","tag-elevator","tag-lift","tag-noise","tag-passenger","tag-top-10-list-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>50 fun things to do in an elevator -Office Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1166\/office-jokes\/50-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"50 fun things to do in an elevator -Office Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers. 3. 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A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, \u201cBoy he could use some head and shoulders.\u201d The blonde says, \u201cHm. How do you give shoulders?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blonde Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1152,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1152\/restaurant-jokes\/15-ways-to-be-annoying\/","url_meta":{"origin":1166,"position":1},"title":"15 ways to be annoying","author":"JokesLab","date":"August 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money. 2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call. 3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you're a ''spider person.''\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Restaurant Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Restaurant Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/restaurant-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1313,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1313\/people-jokes\/expensive-perfume\/","url_meta":{"origin":1166,"position":2},"title":"Expensive perfume","author":"JokesLab","date":"December 22, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, ''Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!'' Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;New York Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"New York Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/new-york-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"pussy-and-cat","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/pussy-and-cat-400x380.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":381,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/381\/blonde-jokes\/blonde-santa-pregnant-woman\/","url_meta":{"origin":1166,"position":3},"title":"Blonde, Santa, Pregnant Woman","author":"JokesLab","date":"June 7, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up ? 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