{"id":1121,"date":"2011-12-27T11:05:37","date_gmt":"2011-12-27T11:05:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1121\/office-jokes\/funny-and-real-instruction-labels\/"},"modified":"2011-12-25T13:53:56","modified_gmt":"2011-12-25T13:53:56","slug":"funny-and-real-instruction-labels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1121\/office-jokes\/funny-and-real-instruction-labels\/","title":{"rendered":"Funny and real instruction labels&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-6446\" title=\"funny-girl-i-love-to-fart\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart1-400x499.jpg\" alt=\"funny-girl-i-love-to-fart\" width=\"400\" height=\"499\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart1-400x499.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart1-150x187.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-girl-i-love-to-fart1.jpg 610w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>ON A HAIR DRYER:<br \/>\nDo not use while sleeping.<\/li>\n<li>ON A BAG OF FRITOS:<br \/>\nYou could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.<\/li>\n<li>ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:<br \/>\nDirections: Use like regular soap.<\/li>\n<li>ON A FROZEN DINNER:<br \/>\nServing  suggestion: Defrost.<\/li>\n<li>ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:<br \/>\nFits one head.<\/li>\n<li>ON TESCO&#8217;S TIRAMISU DESERT:<br \/>\nDo not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)<\/li>\n<li>ON MARKS &amp; SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:<br \/>\nProduct will be hot after heating.<\/li>\n<li>ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:<br \/>\nDo not iron clothes on body.<\/li>\n<li>ON BOOTS CHILDRENS&#8217; COUGH MEDICINE:<br \/>\nDo not drive car or operate machinery.<\/li>\n<li>ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):<br \/>\nWarning: may cause drowsiness.<\/li>\n<li>ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:<br \/>\nWarning keep out of children.<\/li>\n<li>ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:<br \/>\nFor indoor or outdoor use only.<\/li>\n<li>ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:<br \/>\nNot to be used for the other use.<\/li>\n<li>ON SAINSBURY&#8217;S PEANUTS:<br \/>\nWarning: contains nuts.<\/li>\n<li>ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:<br \/>\nInstructions: open packet, eat nuts.<\/li>\n<li>ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:<br \/>\nDo not attempt to stop chain with your hands.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1121\/office-jokes\/funny-and-real-instruction-labels\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1121\/office-jokes\/funny-and-real-instruction-labels\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[195,403,24,18,20],"tags":[794,1070,6,82,1067,404,470,550,1069,1066,1068,857],"class_list":["post-1121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas-jokes","category-hotel-and-travel-jokes","category-miscellaneous-jokes","category-office-jokes","category-top-10-list","tag-airline","tag-china","tag-christmas","tag-dinner","tag-hair-dryer","tag-hotel","tag-instruction","tag-iron","tag-korea","tag-label","tag-shower-cap","tag-soap"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Funny and real instruction labels... -Christmas Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1121\/office-jokes\/funny-and-real-instruction-labels\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Funny and real instruction labels... -Christmas Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Top 10 List - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. 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Come over here!\" The waiter says, \"Can I help you, sir?\" Gary\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;American Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"American Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/american-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":931,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/931\/blonde-jokes\/burnt-ears\/","url_meta":{"origin":1121,"position":4},"title":"Burnt ears","author":"JokesLab","date":"December 31, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened. \"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.\" \"What about the other one?\" \"They called back.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blonde Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"blonde's Burnt ears","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/drunken-sleeping-girl-sleep-in-bathtub.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":791,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/791\/office-jokes\/arkansas-state-residency-application\/","url_meta":{"origin":1121,"position":5},"title":"Arkansas state residency application","author":"JokesLab","date":"March 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N\/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Un-employed Spouse's Name: __________________________ Relationship with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Arkansas Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Arkansas Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/arkansas-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"worst-advertising-placement-godaddy","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/worst-advertising-placement-godaddy-400x249.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1121"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}