{"id":1112,"date":"2012-10-10T10:03:49","date_gmt":"2012-10-10T10:03:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1112\/office-jokes\/the-reason-why-i-fired-my-secretary\/"},"modified":"2012-10-06T01:48:50","modified_gmt":"2012-10-06T01:48:50","slug":"the-reason-why-i-fired-my-secretary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1112\/office-jokes\/the-reason-why-i-fired-my-secretary\/","title":{"rendered":"The reason why I fired my secretary"},"content":{"rendered":"

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say \u201cHappy Birthday,\u201d and probably have a present for me.<\/p>\n

\"blow-job-wedding-cake\"She didn’t even say \u201cGood Morning,\u201d alone any \u201cHappy Birthday.\u201d I thought, \u201cWell, that’s wives for you. Maybe the children will remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.<\/p>\n

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, \u201cGood morning boss, Happy Birthday.\u201d And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.<\/p>\n

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, \u201cYou know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.\u201d I said, \u201cBy George, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.<\/p>\n

On the way back to the office, she said, \u201cYou know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?\u201d I said, \u201cNo, I guess not.\u201d She said, \u201cLet’s go to my apartment.\u201d After arriving at her apartment she said, \u201cBoss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d I excitedly replied.<\/p>\n

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. All were singing \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d and there on the couch I sat… naked<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say \u201cHappy Birthday,\u201d and probably have a present for me. 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I\u2019m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And, I am fresh out of ideas. I mean,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Birthday Jokes"","block_context":{"text":"Birthday Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/holiday-jokes\/birthday-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool-400x390.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1357,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1357\/top-10-list\/top-20-signs-its-a-bad-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":1112,"position":1},"title":"Top 20 signs that it’s a bad day","author":"JokesLab","date":"June 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"You wake up face down on the pavement. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. You see a ''60 minutes'' news team waiting in your office. 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