{"id":1086,"date":"2013-02-25T10:11:57","date_gmt":"2013-02-25T10:11:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1086\/animal-jokes\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\/"},"modified":"2013-02-24T14:02:08","modified_gmt":"2013-02-24T14:02:08","slug":"im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1086\/animal-jokes\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7409\" alt=\"dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human\" src=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human-400x342.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"342\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human-400x342.jpg 400w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human-150x128.jpg 150w, https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human.jpg 450w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street.<\/p>\n<p>All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting out into the street in front of heavy traffic at one of the busiest intersections in the whole city, dragging the blind man along with the dog&#8217;s leash in the blind man&#8217;s hands while cars were trying to stop,screeching their brakes and swerving to avoid a fatal accident.<\/p>\n<p>The policeman was absolutely horrified, but could do nothing to assist. To the immediate relief of the horrified police officer, the blind man and his dog somehow made it across the street without suffering any harm to themselves whatsoever.It was a miracle!<\/p>\n<p>The police officer, still in shock, observed the blind man, upon reaching the corner sidewalk after having nearly been killed crossing the street, reach into his pocket and pull out a cookie and offer it to his seeing-eye dog.<\/p>\n<p>The officer ran to the blind man and said to him in a loud distraught tone, \u201cDon&#8217;t you realize that you could have been killed by your dog dragging you out into a busy street in front of heavy traffic like that? And NOW you&#8217;re going to reward him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The blind man hesitated a moment, then he said to the policeman, \u201cWhy, no sir! I&#8217;m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1086\/animal-jokes\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1086\/animal-jokes\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,22,24,227],"tags":[265,259,113,46,1328,7,1327],"class_list":["post-1086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animal-jokes","category-country-jokes","category-miscellaneous-jokes","category-police-jokes","tag-accident","tag-ass","tag-blind","tag-dog","tag-head","tag-police","tag-traffic"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>I&#039;m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass -Animal Jokes, Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Police Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1086\/animal-jokes\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I&#039;m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass -Animal Jokes, Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Police Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1086\/animal-jokes\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-02-25T10:11:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human-400x342.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"JokesLab\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1086\\\/animal-jokes\\\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1086\\\/animal-jokes\\\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"JokesLab\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c94a8e90f50ee6381e1cdf0be369f34\"},\"headline\":\"I&#8217;m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-02-25T10:11:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1086\\\/animal-jokes\\\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":273,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1086\\\/animal-jokes\\\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/07\\\/dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human-400x342.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"accident\",\"ass\",\"blind\",\"dog\",\"head\",\"police\",\"traffic\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Animal Jokes\",\"Country Jokes\",\"Miscellaneous Jokes\",\"Police Jokes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1086\\\/animal-jokes\\\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1086\\\/animal-jokes\\\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jokeslab.com\\\/jokes\\\/1086\\\/animal-jokes\\\/im-just-trying-to-find-out-where-his-head-is-so-i-can-kick-his-ass\\\/\",\"name\":\"I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass -Animal Jokes, Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Police Jokes - 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About a minute later, a policeman comes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blonde Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blonde Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/blonde-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"perfect-buttocks","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/perfect-buttocks1-400x247.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":925,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/925\/people-jokes\/the-blue-eye\/","url_meta":{"origin":1086,"position":3},"title":"The blue eye","author":"JokesLab","date":"August 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted in him getting his eye gouged out. He was rushed to hospital, and, after awaking from an emergency operation, was told by the doctor that he'd been given a glass eye. The man looked in the mirror to see\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Hospital Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Hospital Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/hospital-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses-400x496.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1352,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1352\/office-jokes\/driver-nswers\/","url_meta":{"origin":1086,"position":4},"title":"Driver  answers","author":"JokesLab","date":"July 31, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;American Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"American Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/country-jokes\/american-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"funny-man-just-want-to-pee","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/funny-man-just-want-to-pee-400x214.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1990,"url":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1990\/people-jokes\/stop-sign\/","url_meta":{"origin":1086,"position":5},"title":"Stop sign","author":"JokesLab","date":"September 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver\u2019s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. \"No,\" the man replied. \"You failed to stop at the stop sign,\" the cop explained. \"But I did slow down!\" the guy argued. The cop shook\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Car Jokes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Car Jokes","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/cat\/car-jokes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup1-400x485.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1086"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1086"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1086"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1086"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}