{"id":1077,"date":"2011-07-03T07:59:01","date_gmt":"2011-07-03T07:59:01","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-07-03T07:59:01","modified_gmt":"2011-07-03T07:59:01","slug":"torpedos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1077\/restaurant-jokes\/torpedos\/","title":{"rendered":"Torpedos"},"content":{"rendered":"

There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So she prayed to God and prayed and prayed, and eventually she got an answer — God told her that every time someone said ”pardon me” to her, her boobs would get a little bit bigger.<\/p>\n

So she was in the grocery store and someone bumped into her and said ”pardon me” and her boobs got bigger.<\/p>\n

Then she was in the parking lot and someone hit her car and they said ”pardon me” and her boobs got a little bigger.<\/p>\n

That night this lady was in a restaurant, and a waiter tripped over her and spilled his food everywhere. He said ”Oh, excuse me! A thousand pardons.”<\/p>\n

The next morning the headline in the newspaper was: ”Waiter killed by torpedos.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So she prayed to God and prayed and prayed, and eventually she got an answer — God told her that every time someone said ”pardon me” to her, her boobs would get … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[201,16],"tags":[566,35,59,33],"class_list":["post-1077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-jokes","category-restaurant-jokes","tag-breast","tag-god","tag-restaurant","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nTorpedos -Church and God Jokes, Restaurant Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1077\/restaurant-jokes\/torpedos\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Torpedos -Church and God Jokes, Restaurant Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. 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