{"id":1076,"date":"2011-07-03T07:57:31","date_gmt":"2011-07-03T07:57:31","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-07-03T07:57:31","modified_gmt":"2011-07-03T07:57:31","slug":"i-am-not-a-drunk-driver","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1076\/car-jokes\/i-am-not-a-drunk-driver\/","title":{"rendered":"I am not a drunk driver"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A cop pulls over a car that&#8217;s been swerving across the lanes of a road.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Get out of the car, please.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But I&#8217;m not drunk, officer!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Listen, it doesn&#8217;t matter if you&#8217;re drunk or not. If you don&#8217;t get out of this car, I&#8217;ll arrest you anyway.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Fine,&#8221; says the man and gets out of the car.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay, now walk this yellow line.&#8221; The man looks at the line.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Which one of them do I walk on?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1076\/car-jokes\/i-am-not-a-drunk-driver\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" src=\"\" class=\"alignleft wp-post-image tfe\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" \/><\/a><p>A cop pulls over a car that&#8217;s been swerving across the lanes of a road. &#8220;Get out of the car, please.&#8221; &#8220;But I&#8217;m not drunk, officer!&#8221; &#8220;Listen, it doesn&#8217;t matter if you&#8217;re drunk or not. If you don&#8217;t get out &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1076\/car-jokes\/i-am-not-a-drunk-driver\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[213,227],"tags":[62,225,627,7],"class_list":["post-1076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-car-jokes","category-police-jokes","tag-car","tag-drink","tag-driver","tag-police"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>I am not a drunk driver -Car Jokes, Police Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jokeslab.com\/jokes\/1076\/car-jokes\/i-am-not-a-drunk-driver\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I am not a drunk driver -Car Jokes, Police Jokes - JokesLab Funniest Jokes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A cop pulls over a car that&#8217;s been swerving across the lanes of a road. &#8220;Get out of the car, please.&#8221; &#8220;But I&#8217;m not drunk, officer!&#8221; &#8220;Listen, it doesn&#8217;t matter if you&#8217;re drunk or not. 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