Relationship Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• Pickup Lines

  23 June 2008, by Editor

  Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

  Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

  Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

  Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

  Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

  Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

  Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

  Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

  Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

• 100 Camels

  23 June 2008, by Editor

  As US tourists in Israel, Morris and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists.

  An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.

  After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.

  "America," Morris replied.

  Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. "She’s not from the States."

  "Yes I am." said the wife.

  He looked at her and asked. "Is he your husband?"

  "Yes." she replied.

  Turning to the husband, he said.... "I’ll give you 100 camels for her."

  Morris looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "She’s not for sale."

  After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked "Morris what took you so long to answer?

  Morris replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."

• Viagra

  23 June 2008, by Editor

  Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight, when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet.

  He asked the son about using one of the pills, and the son said "I don’t think you should take one; they’re very strong and very expensive."

  "How much?" asked Grandpa.

  $10.00 a pill answered the son.

  "I don’t care," said Grandpa, "I’d like to try one, and I’ll leave the money under your pillow as soon as I break this $50.00 bill."

  The next morning the son found $110.00 under his pillow. He said to Grandpa, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."

  "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."

• Bookworm

  23 June 2008, by Editor

  "For Heaven’s sake, Chris, why can’t you talk to me once in a while?" Julie whined.

  "What?" Chris replied.

  "Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don’t even seem to know I’m alive!"

  "I’m sorry, honey," Chris said.

  "Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you’d at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.

  "Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that’s not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."