Redneck Jokes        RSS 2.0

This section's articles

• Ba Ba Black Sheep

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he’d first had sex.

  "It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled.

  "That sounds wonderful," said Jed.

  "Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."

  "Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"

  "Baaaaa..."

• A Sack Full of Chickens

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.

  When he asked, the man said, ’’I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight.’’

  The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack.

  ’’Well I’ll tell you,’’ replied the man, ’’If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack I’ll give them both to you.’’

• The Redneck Outhouse

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out- "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

  Pa replies, "There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse."

  Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it.

  So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse! "

  Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

  Pa yells back, "I ain’t stickin my head in that hole!"

  Ma says,"Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

  So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

  Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

  Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

  To which Ma replies, "Hurt’s, don’t it ?!"

• Stayin’ Alive

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.

  He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you’ll live to a nice ripe old age."

  So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.

  When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren

  ...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.