Man & Woman Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• 4-letter Words

  15 October 2007, by Editor

  A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

  "Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

  "Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!"

  No sooner had she spoken the words than she burst out crying. "But mamma . . . as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He’s been saying things I’ve never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"

  "Now Sarah . . ." her mother answered. "Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"

  "Please don’t make me tell you, mamma." wept the daughter.

  "I’m so embarrassed! They’re just too awful! You’ve got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"

  "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset . . . Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

  Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mamma . . . words like dust, wash, iron, and cook!"

• Child Custody

  15 October 2007, by Editor

  A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

  The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

  The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

  After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied... "Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

• Therapy

  15 October 2007, by Editor

  A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.

  She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with. The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection that causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"

  The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I’ll go talk to my sister."

  When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $5,000 in cash."

• Do Anything You Want

  15 October 2007, by Editor

  One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.

  "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

  So he tied her up and went golfing.