Man & Woman        RSS 2.0

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• Spaghetti

  12 May, by Editor

  A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

  One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

  Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

  She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

  One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

  "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

  "Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later," he said.

  The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

  On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

• 10 Ways to Know If You Have PMS

  12 May, by Editor

  1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

  2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

  3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

  4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

  5. You are using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper-sticker that says, "How’s my driving- call 1-800-***-****.

  6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

  7. You’re convinced there’s a God and he’s male.

  8. You’re counting down the days until menopause.

  9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

  10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

• Brains

  12 May, by Editor

  A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, "well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out front and a young couple was killed and you can have whichever brain you’d like. The man’s brain costs $100,000.00 and the woman’s brain costs $30,000.00."

  The patient could not help but ask, "Why such a large difference between the male and the female brain?"

  The doctor replied, "The female brain is used."

• He Said, She Said

  12 May, by Editor

  He said... I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said...You wear briefs, don’t you?

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  He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

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  He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She said...Well, you have succeeded.

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  He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man? She said...No, have you?

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  He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

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  He said... Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.