Fishing Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• What Fish?

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing

  The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

  The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

  "Pet fish?!" the warden replied.

  "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."

  "That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!"

  The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I’ll show you. It really works."

  "O.K. I’ve GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious.

  The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"

  "Well, what?" the man responded.

  "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.

  "Call who back?" the man asked.

  "The FISH"

  "What fish?" the man asked

• Wonderful Time

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After making love, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...

  "Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice.

  "Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific...

  Great!...

  Thanks...

  Okay...

  Bye."

  She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

  "Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you."

• Never Argue With a Woman Who Reads.

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

  One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn’t familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat.

  She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma’am, what are you doing?"

  "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn’t that obvious?

  "You’re in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

  "But officer, I’m not fishing. Can’t you see that?"

  "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up."

  "If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.

  "But I haven’t even touched you," says the game warden.

  "That’s true, but you do have all the equipment."

  MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

• Liar

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep

  When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o’clock in the evening.

  He jumps up in a panic wondering what he’s going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home.

  When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he’s been until 8:30 in the evening?

  The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon.

  His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you’ve been FISHING!"