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• Helicopter Lessons

  3 September 2007, by Editor

  A blonde received a certificate for helicopter flying lessons for her birthday. One day she was bored and decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

  When she arrived at the place, the man said "Well, there’s only one helicopter here, and it only has one seat, if I show you how to do it, do you mind going up solo?"

  "Oh of course! I can handle it" the blonde replied.

  Well, he showed her the inner-workings of the helicopter and sent her on her way, only asking that she radio in every 400ft to make sure everything was going smoothly.

  at 400ft, she radioed in saying "wow! this is so much fun!"

  At 800 ft. She radioed in again saying "this is pretty easy, I can do this all day!"

  At 1200 ft. She didnt. he waited and waited, and didn’t hear from the blonde! seconds later he heard a crash in the field next to the station. He ran out to see what happened, the blonde crashed!

  Luckily she survived, "what happened?" he exclaimed.

  "Well, I was doing fine, but, I started to get cold, so I just turned off the big fan!"

• License

  3 September 2007, by Editor

  A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

  The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

  The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

• First Class Blonde

  3 September 2007, by Editor

  A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

  The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.

  The blonde replies, "I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here."

  After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I’m blonde, I’m beatiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here."

  The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I’m sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

  The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

  "I told her first class isn’t going to Detroit."

• Two Blondes

  3 September 2007, by Editor

  Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were making merry in a serious way and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big.

  His curiosity finally got the better of him and he said " I hate to be nosy, but it’s obvious that you two are celebrating something big. What’s the occasion?"

  One blonde replies "Well, we are just sooo proud of ourselves, because we just finished - just the two of us alone - a 50 piece jigsaw puzzle in only 3 days."

  Confused, the bartender says "So?", to which the other blonde says "Well, on the box it says 3 - 5 years"