Blonde Jokes        RSS 2.0

This section's articles

• The Blonde at School

  29 October 2007, by Editor

  Day1: A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear"

  Day 2: "We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear"

  Day 3: "We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I’m a 36DD. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "No dear, it’s because your 25.

• A Visit to D.C.

  29 October 2007, by Editor

  A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions -

  "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

  The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

  Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

  The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"

  The blonde replied, "Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now... The 45th bus just went by!"

• Blonde to Poland

  29 October 2007, by Editor

  A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some drinks she starts to cry and tell him the sad story that she is Polish and misses home terribly but can’t afford to buy a ticket to go home.

  The sailor tells her his profession and makes a deal with her. "I’ll hide you away on my ship on one condition. You have to have sex with me when I ask."

  She hugs him, crys and agrees. So late that night they sneak on to his ship and he hides her in a big life boat with a canvas cover. He tells her he’ll bring her food and water and she’ll just have to stay hidden because she’ll be in big trouble if she’s caught.

  So for the next three weeks he brings her rations every day and sleeps with her every night.

  Finally one day the captain is strolling on deck, sees something suspicious and lifts the cover discovering the girl. He yells "STOWAWAY!"

  Scared she explains: "Dont be mad at me sir. One of your sailors stowed me away to take me home to Poland, and is having sex with me for payment!"

  "No kidding? Lady... this is the Staten Island Ferry!"

• The Magic Mirror

  29 October 2007, by Editor

  A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror.

  If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never come back. So, the redhead goes into the restroom and stands in front of the mirror.

  "I think that I am the most beautiful person in this bar." And the Redhead walks out with a brand new red car.

  Then the Brunette goes into the restroom and says to the mirror," I think Im the smartest person in this bar." And she gets a million dollars.

  Then the Blonde goes into the restroom and says to the mirror," I think..." POOF! She disappears.