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• Coincidence

  16 November 2008, by Editor

  A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.

  The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"

  "I’m from Ireland," replies the second man.

  The first man responds, "You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland."

  "Of course," replies the second man.

  "I’m curious," the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?"

  "Dublin," comes the reply.

  "I can’t believe it," says the first man. "I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin."

  "Of course," replies the second man.

  Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?"

  "Saint Mary’s," replies the second man, "I graduated in 62."

  "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary’s and I graduated in 62, too!"

  About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What’s been going on?" he asks the bartender.

  "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O’Kinly twins are drunk again."

• I think I can fly

  16 November 2008, by Editor

  Three guys are in a bar on the top of a cliff. The first guy says to the other guys "You know, if had just one more beer, I reckon I could fly."

  The second guy says "No Way!"

  So the first guy orders a beer and drinks it. Then all three guys walk out to the edge of the cliff. The first guy jumps off, starts falling to the ground, and then flies gracefully back to the top of the cliff.

  The second guy is totally amazed, so he says "You know, if I had another beer, I bet I could do that too."

  All three guys go into the bar, and the second guy has one more beer. After he finishes, he says "Ok, I will be able to fly now."

  All three of them go outside and the second guy jumps off of the cliff. He falls to the bottom, hitting the ground and dying instantly.

  The third guy turns to the first guy and said "You know Superman, you can be a real jerk when you drink."

• The Bad Day

  16 November 2008, by Editor

  There’s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour.

  Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

  The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand seeing a man crying."

  "No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I’m late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.

  "The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar.

  "And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

• Big John

  16 November 2008, by Editor

  A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place. He tells the timid man, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills! He’s the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!"

  A few weeks pass uneventfully. One afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, "Big John is coming to town! Run for your lives!"

  When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he’s knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town. As he’s picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks.

  He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, "I want a beer now!"

  He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, nearly splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer, hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp.

  As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar, the big man gets up to leave. "Do you want another beer?" the bartender calls out.

  "Dang it, I don’t have time!" the big man yells. "I gotta get out of town. Didn’t ya hear Big John is a-comin?"