Tag Archives: woman

The advantages of being a doctor

funny-pose-touch-my-breast

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “A doctor?” “And why’s that?” “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

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Pull over in highway

funny-woman-parking-2

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons for being an American

funny-pose-obama-enjoying-blow-job

1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading

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How to impress a woman, and a man

how-to-please-a-woman

1) Wine her. 2) Dine her. 3) Call her. 4) Hug her. 5) Hold her. 6) Surprise her. 7) Compliment her. 8) Smile at her. 9) Laugh with her. 10) Cry with her 11) Cuddle with her. 12) Shop with … Continue reading

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How to keep your husband at home?

shooting-girl

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late? Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, ‘Mike, is that you?’ Wife #1: But I still don’t understand. … Continue reading

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Three hymns

funny-photo-bomb-daughter-and-angry-mother

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to … Continue reading

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Blondes with a convertible

car-crash-photo

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in … Continue reading

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Difference between woman and dog

mimi-skirt-girl-fuck-you

What’s the difference between a woman and dog at your front door? The dog will stop barking once you let it in!

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What I want in a man

old-man-and-juicy-boobs

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover. What … Continue reading

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Blonde, Santa, Pregnant Woman

women-are-not-for-decoration

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up ? A: The pregnant woman… the other two aren’t real !’

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Modern science

boobs-and-ballons-which is the choice for a boy?

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90% — wedding cake!

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Pretend we’re married

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on … Continue reading

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Men and Women

funny-gorilla

I’M GLAD I’M A MAN I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe; I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where … Continue reading

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Open a beer

sexy-bow-and-arching-girl

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it to you.

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Why women wear white on their wedding day?

high-heel-yoga-girl-reading

Why do women wear white on their wedding day? All major kitchen appliances come in white.

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Pig in the bar

funny-motorbike--first-world-lady-and-third-world-goat

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ”Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?” Then the lady answered, ”Excuse me, I think this is a … Continue reading

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Cat scan

funny-dog-and-puppet

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn’t at her feet. She found him in … Continue reading

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Bill Gates in hell

sexy-techy-girl

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. … Continue reading

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Blonde in first class cabin

funny-shoes-bottomless

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the … Continue reading

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Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered

funny-horse-ride-dog

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. ”Well, now,” says the … Continue reading

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