Tag Archives: top 10 list

15 ways to be annoying

shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money. 2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call. 3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your … Continue reading

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50 fun things to do in an elevator

funny-sex-harasssment-who-did-it

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, dammit, all … Continue reading

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Bumper stickers: X-rated

how-ladies-use-laptop

Constipated people don’t give a shit. Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself. If you drink don’t park, accidents cause people. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. Please tell … Continue reading

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Romantic pink slip

crazy-guy-checking-girls-breast

Dear __________________________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right.  As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make … Continue reading

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Only in America

american-flag-model-bikini

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons for being an American

funny-pose-obama-enjoying-blow-job

1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading

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Top ten… sleeping at desk

funny-obama

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading

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Difference between men and women

funny-man-with-two-girls

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never … Continue reading

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Men vs. Women

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, … Continue reading

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Reflections

funny-shark-design-building

1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. 3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take … Continue reading

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Employee of the month

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. (1) ”Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.” (2) ”His men would follow him anywhere, ……. but … Continue reading

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Top 10 things only women understand

funny-tear-off-my-number

10) Cats’ facial expressions. 9) The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8) Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds. 7) “Fat” clothes. 6) Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5) The … Continue reading

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Before and after marriage

reality-sucks

Before marriage: He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don’t even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! She: Have you ever cheated on … Continue reading

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Democrats vs Republicans

funny-pose-group-sex-two-girls-and-a-statue

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out. Republicans usually wear … Continue reading

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Top ten things that sound dirty in law but aren’t

funny-graduate-girls, sexy photo

10. Have you looked through her briefs? 9. He’s one hard judge! 8. Counselor, let’s do it in chambers. 7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute. 6. Is it a penal offense? 5. Better leave the handcuffs on. 4. … Continue reading

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Top 10 worst things to say at a funeral

11) I’m spiking the punch at the reception. That’ll liven things up! 10) Hey! Did I just see the dead guy move? 9) Hey, this is the first time Grandpa’s been stiff in twenty years! 8) The sonofabitch is lucky … Continue reading

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Top ten things you never hear in church

10. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. 9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time. 8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. 7. I’ve decided to … Continue reading

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Top ten ways tofreak out your roommate

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate’s potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate’s potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, … Continue reading

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Fun things at a drive-thru

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order. 2. Ask prices of everything on the menu and then order something that you did not ask the price for. 3. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell … Continue reading

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Redneck top ten

1) You’ve ever had to lug a paint can to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor. 2) Your wife’s hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan. 3) You go to your family reunion … Continue reading

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