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Tag Archives: top 10 list
Differences between you and your boss
When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged boss, mistake, office, sick leave, top 10 list Leave a comment
Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat
1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They’re totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged animal, cat, fur, girl, man, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
Top ten reasons to go to work naked…
1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!” 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in … Continue reading
Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…
10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s … Continue reading
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged car, girl friend, mother-in-law, sex, top 10 list Leave a comment
Top ten signs your spouse is having a cyber affair
10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He’s gotten amazingly good … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged computer, date, husband, internet, sex, top 10 list, wife Leave a comment
Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date
1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged date, father, girl friend, sex, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
Top 10 blonde FAQs
1. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she’s pregnant. 2. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. 3. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged blonde, drown, fish, sex, top 10 list Leave a comment
Top 10 differences between man and woman
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged man, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
Top ten ways to tell someone their fly is unzipped
1. The cucumber has left the salad. 2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 3. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now. 4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his … Continue reading
Top 10 rejection lines for male and female
10. I think of you as a brother.Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’ 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don’t want to do my dad. 8. I’m not attracted to you … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged female, male, rejection, top 10 list Leave a comment
Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…
10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged Christmas, dog, gift, top 10 list Leave a comment
Top 20 signs that it’s a bad day
You wake up face down on the pavement. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. You see a ”60 minutes” news team waiting in your office. Your … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged bad day, sign, top 10 list Leave a comment
10 things your mom would never say to you
10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List, Your Momma Jokes Tagged kid, mother, top 10 list Leave a comment
Top 10 bad things to hear on an airplane
10. This is your captain speaking and I don’t feel that life is worth living anymore. 9. We’re cruising at an altitude of… ah, hell, I don’t know. 8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged airplane, captain, top 10 list Leave a comment
Cute little sayings
1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane. 3. It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at the end. 4. The problem with the … Continue reading
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX….
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged sex, top 10 list Leave a comment
Performance evaluations
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Office Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged employee, employment, performance, top 10 list Leave a comment
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN’T
10. Nuts…my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs … Continue reading
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Sports Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged ball, dirty, golf, hole, sex, size, threesome, top 10 list Leave a comment
Famous last words
* I’ll get a world record for this. * Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. * Let’s ask that group of basketball players for directions. * Here’s my Kent State student ID. * … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged button, die, last words, newspaper, top 10 list, TV Leave a comment
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND…
10. Cats’ facial expressions 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 8. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds 7. Fat clothes 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time 5. The … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged shoes, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment