Tag Archives: Texas

Texan with a new car

funny-car-beast

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy … Continue reading

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Charming

photo_bombs-eating-boobs

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion … Continue reading

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Texan baby

drink-till-you-want-me

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. “WOW!” was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks … Continue reading

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Bush fans

sexy-Dallas-cheerleaders-girls

There’s a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their … Continue reading

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Texas Talkin’

funny-banana-corn

Here’s what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State… The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving = Not too smart As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person Tighter than bark on a … Continue reading

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Texan Farmer

funny-Japanese-bra-cone

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice … Continue reading

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Lip gloss

skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman

An old Texan cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy … Continue reading

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A fence bid

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. … Continue reading

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what happened in Texas?

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, … Continue reading

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Texas thug athletes

If two Dallas Cowboys are in a car. Who’s driving? The cops.

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Redneck wins the lottery

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.” To which the man replied, “No sir. It doesn’t … Continue reading

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