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Tag Archives: telephone
Your horse called up
A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. “What was that for?” the man asked. The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged horse, husband, pants, telephone, wife Leave a comment
When I’m on the telephone
Man: Doc, you’ve gotta help me. I’m hearing voices but I don’t see people. Doc: And when are you hearing these voices? Man: When I’m on the telephone.
Burnt ears
A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened. “The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.” “What about the other one?” “They called back.”
911
Why can’t a blonde dial 911? She can’t find the eleven.
A conversation
Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes Tagged telephone, toilet Leave a comment
They’re busy
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. “May I speak to your parents?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The police.” “Can I speak to them?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The firemen.” “Can … Continue reading
Wonderful time
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After making love, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Sports Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged fishing, friend, husband, sex, telephone, wife Leave a comment
Wrong number?
The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the voice in her ear. “How are you, dear? What kind of day are you having?” “Oh, mom, the baby won’t eat, the washing machine is broke, I’ve not been … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes Tagged house, housewife, husband, mother, telephone Leave a comment
If men ruled the world
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes Tagged beer, game, girl, girl friend, man, resume, rule, telephone, Valentine's day 1 Comment
Surprise
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged bean, birthday, dinner, fart, guest, husband, surprise, telephone, wife 1 Comment
Dog calls
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name ‘Marylou’ written on it,” … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged call, dog, husband, pants, telephone, wife Leave a comment
Install phone pole
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged blonde, contractor, pole, redhead, telephone Leave a comment
How to handle telemarketing calls
One thing that has always bugged me, and I’m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, … Continue reading
Posted in Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged At & T, marketing, telemarketing, telephone Leave a comment
4-letter words
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. “Well, how was the honeymoon?” asked the mother. “Oh mamma!” she exclaimed. “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!” No sooner … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged honeymoon, husband, marriage, mother, telephone, wife Leave a comment
Getting a second opinion
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. ” You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged doctor, husband, sex, telephone, wife Leave a comment
I love hearing it
A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.” The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want … Continue reading
Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged die, lawyer, office, receptionist, telephone Leave a comment
Do you know who you’re talking to?
A Man joined a big multi-national company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee quickly!” The voice from the other side responded,”You fool you’ve dialed the wrong … Continue reading
Tips for success in office
1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People … Continue reading
The barking dog
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:44 A.M. by his ringing telephone. “Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name … Continue reading
The new number
After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him and got a woman. “Is Robert there?” I asked. “Here’s in the shower,” she responded. “Please tell him his girlfriend called,” I said and hung up. When … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged boy friend, telephone, wife Leave a comment