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Tag Archives: telephone
A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. “What was that for?” the man asked. The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny … Continue reading
Man: Doc, you’ve gotta help me. I’m hearing voices but I don’t see people. Doc: And when are you hearing these voices? Man: When I’m on the telephone.
A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened. “The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.” “What about the other one?” “They called back.”
Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I … Continue reading
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. “May I speak to your parents?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The police.” “Can I speak to them?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The firemen.” “Can … Continue reading
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After making love, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her … Continue reading
The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the voice in her ear. “How are you, dear? What kind of day are you having?” “Oh, mom, the baby won’t eat, the washing machine is broke, I’ve not been … Continue reading
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in … Continue reading
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name ‘Marylou’ written on it,” … Continue reading
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde … Continue reading
One thing that has always bugged me, and I’m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, … Continue reading
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. “Well, how was the honeymoon?” asked the mother. “Oh mamma!” she exclaimed. “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!” No sooner … Continue reading
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. ” You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many … Continue reading
A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.” The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want … Continue reading
A Man joined a big multi-national company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee quickly!” The voice from the other side responded,”You fool you’ve dialed the wrong … Continue reading
1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People … Continue reading
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:44 A.M. by his ringing telephone. “Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name … Continue reading