Tag Archives: St. Peter

God sues Satan, Satan laughs, why?

funny-shirt-huge-pen-or-huge-penis

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Bush, Einstein and Picasso

5-us-presidents-funny-obama-over-bush

When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise. And when Picasso died, St. Peter … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Politician Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Question for lawyer

funny-gorilla-enjoying-the-breast

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bill Gates’ punishment

techy-girl-nail

Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Who’s he going to tell?

funny-scene-big-john

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won’t be able to go to work. Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Sports Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Recruiting

skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman

A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Howard be thy name

look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter. “Welcome!” he says. “Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you … Continue reading

Posted in American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Heavenly Reward

bikini-girl-on-beach

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading

Posted in Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I was hiding innocently in the fridge

cheater-caught

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died. “I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rejected

terrosists-in-beach

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where are you going to find a lawyer in the heaven?

cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ”Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been … Continue reading

Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bill Gates in hell

sexy-techy-girl

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. … Continue reading

Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Today you are staff

safety-driving-school

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, “You’ve shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.” “I don’t know!” she flounders. … Continue reading

Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Two nights only

funny-failed-ads-smoking

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their life. Doctor: ”I … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Politician Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One good deed

funny-erection

A guy just died and he’s at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin’ through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St. Peter goes through the Book several times and furrows … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Einstein, Picasso and Bush

funny-bird-pooping-on-people

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Politician Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

They think they’re the only ones here

A man arrived at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asked, “Religion?” The man said, “Methodist.” St. Peter looked down his list and said,” Go to Room 24, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8.” Another man arrived … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment