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Tag Archives: restaurant
Waiter and fart
A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and … Continue reading
Honeymoon spaghetti
Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary’s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, “Waiter! Waiter! Come over … Continue reading
The breakfast order
A man arrives at the breakfast room in the hotel at which he is staying and calls over the head waiter. “I believe that this morning I would like two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged breakfast, egg, order, restaurant, waiter Leave a comment
Things I’ve learned from my children
1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 4. … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged bag, ceiling fan, child, dog, pool, restaurant, TV, window Leave a comment
Where is this place?
A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged burger King, car, driving, husband, place, pronunciation, restaurant, wife Leave a comment
15 ways to be annoying
1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money. 2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call. 3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your … Continue reading
Posted in Restaurant Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged annoying, bomb, call, lift, pet, restaurant, spider, toilet, top 10 list Leave a comment
Ned: the most popular man in the world
Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged pope, popular, president, queen, restaurant Leave a comment
Hot dog
Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he’s heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they’re going to fit in, … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Animal Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged dog, hot dog, restaurant, USA Leave a comment
A blonde and a waitress
A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she’s deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress’s name tag on her shirt. ”Gee, that’s nice. What did … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged blonde, name tag, restaurant, shirt, waitress Leave a comment
Sunbath
A woman was staying at a hotel and she decided to go sunbathing on the hotel roof. When she laid down to sun her back, her bikini top fell off. She didn’t care so much, though, because nobody ever came … Continue reading
Posted in France and French Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Restaurant Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged bikini, hotel, restaurant, roof, skylight, sunbath, woman Leave a comment
Compliments
Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. “Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” said the first gal. “Could you pass me the honey, honey?” said the … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged bacon, ham, honey, husband, pig, restaurant, sugar, wife Leave a comment
Panda bear
A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders. The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Restaurant Jokes, Science Jokes Tagged animal, bar, encyclopedia, gun, panada, restaurant, shoot Leave a comment
Romantic food
Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads. He observed … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged anniversary, dinner, ham, honey, husband, pig, restaurant, romantic, sugar, wife Leave a comment
Leek soup?
Checking the menu, Nigel, a restaurant customer, ordered a bowl of soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called over to the waitress and said, ’It’s all … Continue reading
Torpedos
There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So she prayed to God and prayed and prayed, and eventually she got an answer — God told her that every time someone said ”pardon me” to her, her boobs would get … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged breast, God, restaurant, woman Leave a comment