Tag Archives: office

Red Cross

funny-wedding-cake-couple-ski-together

Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward … Continue reading

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Differences between you and your boss

funny-sale-sign-save $-10

When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an … Continue reading

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Insurance salesman

Insurance salesman

A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. “Sorry, we don’t need anyone…” they replied. “You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anything anytime!” “Well, we have two prospects that no one … Continue reading

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Top ten reasons to go to work naked…

Top ten reasons to go to work naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!” 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in … Continue reading

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Blonde secretary’s memo to her boss

geek-girl-push-the-right-button

(you need know y2k problem on old computers…) TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to … Continue reading

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Why I am so tired?

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of this country is 237 … Continue reading

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I’m the Boss

I-rule-because-I-have-pussy

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that … Continue reading

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Buy me out

boy-and-sexy-model

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man.”To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner … Continue reading

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Prison vs. Work

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8′ X 10′ cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6′ X 8′ cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you … Continue reading

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Top ten… sleeping at desk

funny-obama

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading

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Employee of the month

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. (1) ”Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.” (2) ”His men would follow him anywhere, ……. but … Continue reading

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Millennium Computers

funny-scene-i-did-pisa-tower

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, ”Congratulations sir, You’re the father of twins.” ”What a coincidence,” the man said with some … Continue reading

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The rules (by her)

how-to-get-a-man-to-wash-his-hands

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change … Continue reading

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Printing yellow

sexy-lady-with-brain

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard’s DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn’t solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which … Continue reading

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Sick Leave

funny-hair-style-for-sleep-in-office

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract’s sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of … Continue reading

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I love hearing it

funny-Japanese-bra-cone

A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.” The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want … Continue reading

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Do you know who you’re talking to?

Sexy--black-coffee, man and woman

A Man joined a big multi-national company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee quickly!” The voice from the other side responded,”You fool you’ve dialed the wrong … Continue reading

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The Manager’s Problem

obama enjoying the blow job

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill… He thought he’d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the … Continue reading

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Tips for success in office

hair style to sleep in office

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People … Continue reading

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