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Tag Archives: mother
Father Christmas gift
Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, ’from Father Christmas.’ A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes Tagged child, Christmas, father, gift, mother Leave a comment
10 things your mom would never say to you
10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List, Your Momma Jokes Tagged kid, mother, top 10 list Leave a comment
You can try again
A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, she confides this ’news’ to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”The girl picks up the … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged boy, father, girl, marriage, miscarriage, mother, pregnant, teenage Leave a comment
The most confusing day
What is the biggest day of confusion in West Virginia? Father’s Day.
They won’t let you fart
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged chair, fart, mother, nurse Leave a comment
What kind of boy did your daughter marry?
Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, “What kind of boy did your daughter marry?” “Oh, he’s wonderful,” gushed the mother. “He lets her sleep late, ants her … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged daughter, marriage, mother, son Leave a comment
Let me hold your monkey
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged bus, driver, monkey, mother Leave a comment
Never lie to your mother
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but noticing how beautiful John’s room-mate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his room-mate, and this had … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, France and French Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged bed, dinner, ladle, lie, mother, roommate, sleep Leave a comment
Family history
One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. “How did I get here, Mommy?” she asks. Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, “Why God sent you, Honey.” “And did God send you too, Mommy?” she continues. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged child, daughter, family, God, mother, sex Leave a comment
Wrong number?
The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the voice in her ear. “How are you, dear? What kind of day are you having?” “Oh, mom, the baby won’t eat, the washing machine is broke, I’ve not been … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes Tagged house, housewife, husband, mother, telephone Leave a comment
First sex with sheep
Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where h’d first had sex. “It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged animal, car, daughter, mother, road, sex, sheep Leave a comment
Homework
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes Tagged classroom, girl, homework, mother, punish, school Leave a comment
You got an ’F’ in sex
A little girl and her mother were out and about. Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, “Mommy, How old are you?” The mother responded, “Honey, women don’t talk about their age. You’ll learn this as you get … Continue reading
Posted in Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged child, divorce, girl, license, mother, sex Leave a comment
Girls can get as many as they want
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day passing an 8 year old girl’s house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up his football and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged bike, boy, football, girl, mother, penis, woman Leave a comment
Intelligence must come from your mother
Son: ”Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?” Dad: ”Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, ’cause I still have mine.”
Was Jesus Jewish,Irish, Purerto Rican, Italian, Californian, or Black?
PROOF THAT JESUS WAS Jewish: 1. He went into his father’s business. 2. He lived at home until the age of 33. 3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God. PROOF … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Country Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged brother, California, God, Irish, Italian, Jesus, Jewish, marriage, mother Leave a comment
A letter from Mom
Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged coat, father, letter, money, mother, sister 1 Comment
Why did you eat him?
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Kids Jokes, People Jokes Tagged baby, boy, doctor, hospital, mother, pregnant, stomach, woman Leave a comment
Mom’s favourite gift
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. “Well,” said the first one, “I … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged Beverly Hills, child, gift, Mercedes, mother, parrot, son Leave a comment
Last name
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged child, father, marriage, mother, name, welfare Leave a comment