Tag Archives: money

A rare book

funny-reading-book-cover-in-train

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” Gasped … Continue reading

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A loyal wife

funny-shit-slogan-i-will-not-love-you-long-time

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, … Continue reading

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3 eggs and 10,000 dollars

cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. “Oh, that,” … Continue reading

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cat scan and lab tests

hot-dog-mating-monkey

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body … Continue reading

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Job interview

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for. “In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” … Continue reading

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Dad’s poem

funny-boy-reading-playboy

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ’My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’ The second boy says, ’That’s … Continue reading

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Little Johnny

a-curious-baby-checking-mother-buttocks

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two … Continue reading

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She made me a better offer

unhappy-bride

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and … Continue reading

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3 wishes of a government worker

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c’mon, I’m sure there’s one buried in your desk too.) Since he’d heard these jokes before, he knew that he … Continue reading

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Buy me out

boy-and-sexy-model

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man.”To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner … Continue reading

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The ex-wife and the genie

yard-sign-cheating-husband

One day a man was planting flowers outside his new house when he found a bottle with a cork in it. He took out the cork and with a poof, a genie came out. ”I will grant you three wishes … Continue reading

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Letter to God

funny-shit-slogan-i-dont-need-sex

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send … Continue reading

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Blonde, Santa, Pregnant Woman

women-are-not-for-decoration

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up ? A: The pregnant woman… the other two aren’t real !’

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How to mess with the IRS?

secret-operation

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) –Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from … Continue reading

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Rejected

terrosists-in-beach

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading

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A letter from Mom

funny-celebration-smoking-and-longevity

Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we … Continue reading

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Ten dollars is ten dollars

funny-toilet-sign-little-red-hood-and-wolf

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, ”Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Martha would say, ”I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs … Continue reading

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A free wonderful weekend

funny-guy-with-sexy-game-girl

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. … Continue reading

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Difference between men and women

funny-man-with-two-girls

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never … Continue reading

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Men vs. Women

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, … Continue reading

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