Tag Archives: man

A free wonderful weekend

funny-guy-with-sexy-game-girl

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. … Continue reading

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Adam, Eve, and God

funny-petition-gay-marriage-killed-the-dinosaurs

“God,” said Adam, “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?” “So you would love her.” “But why did you make her so dumb?” “So she would love you.”

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Difference between men and women

funny-man-with-two-girls

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never … Continue reading

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Not allowed up on the furniture

why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, doctor! I’ve got this problem,” the man said. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know … Continue reading

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The blonde makeout

funny-erection-due-to-two-girls

A guy and a blond are on a date, and after dinner and a movie, they head on up to Makeout Mountain, where things get a little hot ‘n’ heavy. Then the guy leans over. “Do you want to go … Continue reading

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Why do wives live longer ?

funny-feminist-shoes-naked-man-as-heel

Why do wives live longer than their husbands? Because they aren’t married to women!

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How was man created?

funny-and-sexy-ads-flirt-vodka

After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. “How’s things, Eve?” He asked. “It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just … Continue reading

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You unzipped my fly three times

David-get-a-mouth-hug-from-a-Japanese-bitch

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up … Continue reading

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Goddamn it

funny-woman-parking

A man was working on a preacher’s car in a garage and he was pushing hard on a wrench to loosen a nut and his hand slipped. He yelled “Goddamn it” and the preacher said, “Don’t take the Lord’s name … Continue reading

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Men in heaven

funny-pose--delicious

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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Today you are staff

safety-driving-school

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, “You’ve shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.” “I don’t know!” she flounders. … Continue reading

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Men vs. Women

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, … Continue reading

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The creation of man

funny-blow-job

God created the mule, and told him, ” You will be a mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back.   You will eat grass and lack intelligence.  You will live for 50 years.” The … Continue reading

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Psychiatric Hotline

funny-photo-curb-your-enthusiasm

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. “If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. “If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.” “If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.” “If you are paranoid-delusional, … Continue reading

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Indian promiscuity

US-solider-in-Iraq-fucking-the-camel

A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair. “How did you get that feather?” the woman asked. “I screw one squaw,” the Indian said. Then, … Continue reading

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Party talk

funny-photo-couple-in-beach

A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ”If you were my husband I would poison your drink.” The man replied, ”If you were my wife I would drink it.”

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Men and woman

photo-bomb-naked-man

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and … Continue reading

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Parking lots and man

funny-blonde-parking-2

How are men and parking spots the same? All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped!

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Millennium Computers

funny-scene-i-did-pisa-tower

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, ”Congratulations sir, You’re the father of twins.” ”What a coincidence,” the man said with some … Continue reading

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The rules (by her)

how-to-get-a-man-to-wash-his-hands

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change … Continue reading

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