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Tag Archives: man
Not my dog
There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ”Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes Tagged bite, dog, hound, man, newspaper, traveller Leave a comment
Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat
1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They’re totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged animal, cat, fur, girl, man, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
Help me get this human out of my ass
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “May I help you, sir?” The duck says, “Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass.”
Relationship guide
For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged family, guide, husband, man, relationship, wife, woman Leave a comment
Mother in law
A man’s house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged dog, fire, man, mother-in-law, son, wife Leave a comment
The fruits of love
A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged condom, honeymoon, man, marriage, resort, sex, woman Leave a comment
Top 10 differences between man and woman
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged man, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
Therapy
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged man, pharmacist Leave a comment
Translating male phrases
“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It’s a guy thing.” Really means…. “There is no … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged driving, family, man, marriage, phrases, woman Leave a comment
The eve of creation
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” God asks her. “Lord,” she says, “I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged Eve, God, man Leave a comment
The lost chapter in Genesis
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. So God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged Adam, God, man, rib, woman Leave a comment
Smarter man
Three men were walking down a street and found a bottle laying on the side of the road. They picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said, ”You will each get one wish.” The first man wished … Continue reading
Posted in Genie Jokes, New York Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged genie, man, smart, wishes, woman Leave a comment
Brain transplant
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ”Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.” ”Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives. ”For a male brain, $500,000. … Continue reading
Why do men sit with their legs wide open?
Q: Why do men sit with their legs wide open? A: So their brains can breathe.
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes, Short Q & A Tagged brain, man Leave a comment
Men and diapers
Why are men like diapers? They are always on my ass and full of shit – thank goodness they’re disposable!
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A Tagged ass, diaper, man, shit Leave a comment
Intelligent comments
How do you know when a man’s going to say something intelligent? He starts his sentence with ”A woman told me…”
Posted in Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A Tagged intelligent, man, woman Leave a comment
Beer and female hormones
“Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains large traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and … Continue reading
The perfect man
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A, Your Momma Jokes Tagged bar, man, TV, woman Leave a comment
Chemistry men & women
Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable … Continue reading
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes Tagged chemistry, man, physical, properties, woman Leave a comment
Feel like a woman
I’m sitting on this plane, eating my dinner, when all of a sudden the captain comes on the loudspeaker and tells us that the plane is about to crash land into the mountains. The next thing I know this woman … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged airplane, date, iron, man, sex, woman Leave a comment