Tag Archives: husband

Honeymoon spaghetti

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary’s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, “Waiter! Waiter! Come over … Continue reading

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Say something positive

sexy-scene

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself. “You know, dear,” she says, “I look in the mirror, and I see an old … Continue reading

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the secret of success in marriage

sexy-y-gen-mother-underwear

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made … Continue reading

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Journey to the other side

Welcome-to-hell

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail … Continue reading

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Wonderful time

cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After making love, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her … Continue reading

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Lucky you

sexy-girls-sun-bath-in-car-park

“My wife is an angel.” “Lucky you. Mine’s still alive.”

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Marriage lessons

funny-wedding-cake-you-cannot-run-away

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. “Tell us Tom, just what is it you have … Continue reading

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Good or bad?

casual-wedding

A recently-married man goes into a drugstore to pick up some things. The clerk greets him…. Clerk: Hey, how did the wedding go? Man: Well, we got married. Clerk: That’s good! Man: No, that’s bad. I wasn’t wearing any clothes. … Continue reading

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I am married to your sister

funny-wedding-costume-mask

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson.  She dresses up like Satan and decides to hide in the … Continue reading

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Golden urinal

drunken-sleeping-girl-Russian-girl-and-vodka

A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls … Continue reading

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Heavenly Reward

bikini-girl-on-beach

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading

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FBI interview

boob-vision

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, ”To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next … Continue reading

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Mushrooms and marriage

boy-raider

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.” “Oh, how tragic! … Continue reading

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Never argue with a woman who reads

book-bathtub

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to … Continue reading

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Get your oil changed

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby … Continue reading

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I was hiding innocently in the fridge

cheater-caught

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died. “I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all … Continue reading

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Blonde’s puzzle

drunken-girl

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help. ”It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Sally cried. ”Honey,” said Dan, “Put the … Continue reading

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Wrong number?

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the voice in her ear. “How are you, dear? What kind of day are you having?” “Oh, mom, the baby won’t eat, the washing machine is broke, I’ve not been … Continue reading

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Vice President

arching-at-home-boost-boobs

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it … Continue reading

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Bed football

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, “7 points!” His wife looked at him and said, “What the hell are you doing?” He simply replied, “Just playing bed … Continue reading

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