Tag Archives: hospital

Last words

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An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote … Continue reading

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Brain transplant

A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ”Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.” ”Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives. ”For a male brain, $500,000. … Continue reading

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Underage circumcision?

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Two guys are sharing a hospital room. “What are you in for?” “I’m getting a circumcision.” “Damn! I had that done when I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year!”

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Blonde on a diet

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There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days — “Eat anything and everything you … Continue reading

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Get your oil changed

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There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby … Continue reading

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Gassy granny

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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least … Continue reading

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Urine test

baby-likes-the-big-boobs

Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. “Why are you crying?” asked the other child. “I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger.” When he heard this, the … Continue reading

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Having to face the fact

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Dermatologist: Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I’m happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples. Girl: Wow! That’s great! Why? Dermatologist: There’s no more space.

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From beautiful to cute

funny-shirt-couple-his-and-hers

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had … Continue reading

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Not allowed up on the furniture

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A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, doctor! I’ve got this problem,” the man said. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know … Continue reading

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Why did you eat him?

funny-kid-i-pad-myself

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is … Continue reading

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Two nights only

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A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their life. Doctor: ”I … Continue reading

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Circumcision

funny-shit-slogan-i-shit-my-pants

Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, “Hey Tim, what’re you in for?” “I’m getting … Continue reading

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Bad luck

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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to,he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he … Continue reading

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bartender is better than psychiatrist

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Jackson went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. … Continue reading

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Hermaphrodite

funny-shit-slogan-i-shit-my-pants

A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, ”I have something to tell you about your child…” The woman slowly sits up with a worried look on her face and says, … Continue reading

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Santa Singh

There was this case in the hospital’s Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had … Continue reading

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