Tag Archives: heaven

Spelling

Posted on April 23, 2014 by JokesLab
Spelling

A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on a vacation so he asked the man to take over while he was away. God told the man to give everyone a test before letting them into heaven. … Continue reading →

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Wal-Mart vs. heaven

Posted on November 9, 2013 by JokesLab
funny-sale-sign-save-10

I consider Wal-Mart to be God’s gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates Wal-Mart: Some old … Continue reading →

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Question for lawyer

Posted on May 29, 2013 by JokesLab
funny-gorilla-enjoying-the-breast

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for … Continue reading →

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We judge on results

Posted on January 14, 2013 by JokesLab
funny-pose-fucked-by-the-bishop

A minister has just died and is standing in line waiting to be judged and admitted to Heaven. While waiting he asks the man in front of him about himself. The man says, “I am a taxi driver from Noo … Continue reading →

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Wishes

Posted on December 25, 2012 by JokesLab
sexy-santa-claus-gifts-on-butts

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked,”When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say … Continue reading →

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Recruiting

Posted on December 3, 2012 by JokesLab
skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman

A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get … Continue reading →

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Howard be thy name

Posted on November 21, 2012 by JokesLab
look-at-my-chest-when-I-am-talking-to-you

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter. “Welcome!” he says. “Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you … Continue reading →

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Rejected

Posted on May 22, 2012 by JokesLab
terrosists-in-beach

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading →

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Where are you going to find a lawyer in the heaven?

Posted on May 18, 2012 by JokesLab
cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ”Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been … Continue reading →

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Bill Gates in hell

Posted on May 5, 2012 by JokesLab
sexy-techy-girl

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. … Continue reading →

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Men in heaven

Posted on March 23, 2012 by JokesLab
funny-pose--delicious

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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Today you are staff

Posted on March 22, 2012 by JokesLab
safety-driving-school

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, “You’ve shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.” “I don’t know!” she flounders. … Continue reading →

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Meals on wheels

Posted on February 9, 2012 by JokesLab
funny-statue-fucking-a-cat

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful — she had to sleep in cold back … Continue reading →

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Two nights only

Posted on January 16, 2012 by JokesLab
funny-failed-ads-smoking

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their life. Doctor: ”I … Continue reading →

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One good deed

Posted on December 6, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-erection

A guy just died and he’s at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin’ through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St. Peter goes through the Book several times and furrows … Continue reading →

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How to get into heaven?

Posted on October 17, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-girl-reject-christ-receive-bacon

“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class. “NO!” the children all … Continue reading →

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Einstein, Picasso and Bush

Posted on October 17, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-bird-pooping-on-people

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really … Continue reading →

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Baseball in heaven

Posted on July 6, 2011 by JokesLab

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there’s baseball in heaven?” … Continue reading →

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