Tag Archives: girl friend

Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…

Posted on April 9, 2014 by JokesLab
Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s … Continue reading →

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Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date

Posted on April 1, 2014 by JokesLab
Playboy and boobs

1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading →

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Programmer and frog

Posted on October 8, 2012 by JokesLab
nerds-shirt-i-screw-i-nut-i-bolt

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. … Continue reading →

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A dog named Sex

Posted on August 27, 2012 by JokesLab
a-dog-named-sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the … Continue reading →

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Boy buying condoms

Posted on July 20, 2012 by JokesLab
i-am-not-virgin

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for … Continue reading →

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Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

Posted on June 21, 2012 by JokesLab
new-york-giants-fan-showning-buttocks-and-ball

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading →

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If men ruled the world

Posted on May 25, 2012 by JokesLab
so-many-cctvs

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading →

Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Redneck Christmas shopping

Posted on December 28, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-drinking-cheers-in-commencement

You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

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Women’s English

Posted on November 10, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-blow-job

“Yes” = No “No” = Yes “Maybe” = No “I’m sorry.” = You’ll be sorry “We need” = I want “It’s your decision” = The correct decision should be obvious by now. “Do what you want”  = You’ll pay for … Continue reading →

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How to please your mother with your girl friend?

Posted on October 20, 2011 by JokesLab
date-stamp-no-need-to-ask-age

“What am I supposed to do?” a young man looking to get married asked his friend. “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents,my mother doesn’t like.” “Oh, that’s easy,” his pal replied. “All you have to do is … Continue reading →

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To my one and only love

Posted on September 23, 2011 by JokesLab
valentine-day-gift-condom

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading →

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Future Irish mother-in-law

Posted on August 30, 2011 by JokesLab
horse face and a lady

This young Dublin fella comes home all excited to tell his ma he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says: “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you just try and guess … Continue reading →

Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment