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Tag Archives: girl friend
Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…
10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s … Continue reading
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged car, girl friend, mother-in-law, sex, top 10 list Leave a comment
Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date
1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged date, father, girl friend, sex, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
Programmer and frog
A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Computer Jokes, People Jokes Tagged frog, girl friend, nerd, princess, programmer Leave a comment
A dog named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged divorce, dog, girl friend, license, marriage, name, sex, wife Leave a comment
Boy buying condoms
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged boy, condom, dinner, girl friend, pharmacist, sex Leave a comment
Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0
MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading
Posted in Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged bug, computer, girl friend, husband, mistress, popup, resource, upgrade, wife Leave a comment
If men ruled the world
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes Tagged beer, game, girl, girl friend, man, resume, rule, telephone, Valentine's day 1 Comment
Redneck Christmas shopping
You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Redneck Jokes, Short Q & A, Texas Jokes Tagged Christmas, gift, girl friend, mother, redneck, sister Leave a comment
Women’s English
“Yes” = No “No” = Yes “Maybe” = No “I’m sorry.” = You’ll be sorry “We need” = I want “It’s your decision” = The correct decision should be obvious by now. “Do what you want” = You’ll pay for … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged boy friend, english, girl friend, husband, language, wife, woman, words Leave a comment
How to please your mother with your girl friend?
“What am I supposed to do?” a young man looking to get married asked his friend. “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents,my mother doesn’t like.” “Oh, that’s easy,” his pal replied. “All you have to do is … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged father, girl, girl friend, mother Leave a comment
To my one and only love
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading
Future Irish mother-in-law
This young Dublin fella comes home all excited to tell his ma he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says: “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you just try and guess … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged girl, girl friend, marriage, mother 1 Comment