Tag Archives: gift

Gift for mother-in-law

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading

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0 to 200 in 6 seconds

funny-girl-smelling-her-breast

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER … Continue reading

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Cannot go up the chimney

Cannot go up the chimney

Santa is putting presents by the tree when he hears a woman’s voice say “Santa will you please come sit with me?” Santa turns and sees a beautiful woman sitting on her couch in a very sexy gown. Santa says … Continue reading

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1000 Valentine cards

1000 Valentine cards

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and … Continue reading

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Arbor Day

funny-feminist-shoes-naked-man-as-heel

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading

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The right choice

funny-family-photo-couple-and-a-masturbating-son

My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed … Continue reading

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Father Christmas gift

funny Santa: clean your fuck chimney

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, ’from Father Christmas.’ A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no … Continue reading

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Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…

funny-photo-bomb-daughter-and-angry-mother

10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading

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Holding for ransom

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of presents for Christmas. He knew that god had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray. “God, i have been a child of perfection this year. I … Continue reading

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Sons

curious-man-studying-girls-buttocks

Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. “My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his … Continue reading

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Charming

photo_bombs-eating-boobs

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion … Continue reading

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Valentine’s day gift for ex-wives

photo-bomb-mating-animals

A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines’ cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, “I wonder if they have anything for … Continue reading

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Register wedding gifts

funny-and-sexy-condom-ads-long-pleasure-condom

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses … Continue reading

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Singing parrot

funny-wrong-job-music-player

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present. So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot. The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot. ”It’s beautiful!” cried the man, ”Does … Continue reading

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Mom’s favourite gift

for-research-purpose-only-t-shirt-slogan

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. “Well,” said the first one, “I … Continue reading

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Good sons

photo-bomb-dog-mating

Three women started boasting about their sons. “What a birthday I had last year!” exclaimed the first. “My son, that wonderful boy, threw me a big party in a fancy restaurant. He even paid for plane tickets for my friends.” … Continue reading

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Redneck Christmas shopping

funny-drinking-cheers-in-commencement

You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

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Gift for teacher

funny-revenge-pee-to-your-neighbours-car

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said “I bet I know what it is — it’s some … Continue reading

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Valentine’s day dream

photo-bomb-horse-face

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said. … Continue reading

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To my one and only love

valentine-day-gift-condom

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading

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