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Tag Archives: funeral
Last words
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote … Continue reading
They’re all at the funeral
A man had tickets to see the Gold Medal Volleyball Match at the Olympics, front row, center court. As he sits down, a woman comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. “No,” he … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, Family Jokes, Sports Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged funeral, husband, Olympic, volleyball, wife Leave a comment
To my loving wife
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes Tagged email, Florida, funeral, window Leave a comment
Wrong flower cards
I sent flowers to someone who was moving to Florida for a job promotion. I also sent flowers the same day to a funeral for a friend. I found out later that the flower shop got the cards mixed up. … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged card, flower, funeral, job, promotion Leave a comment
Watch out for the wall
A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged casket, ceremony, funeral, husband, wife Leave a comment
After all, I was married to her for 40 years
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Sports Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged boat, bridge, fishing, funeral, husband, marriage, river, wife Leave a comment
Hilarious signs
Over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.” Pizza shop … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Short Q & A, Top 10 List Tagged electrician, funeral, gynecologist, maternity, muffler, optometrist, pizza, plastic surgeon, plumber, sign, smoking, Veterinarian Leave a comment
Black magic man
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged argument, bar, casket, funeral, husband, magic, man, marriage, wife, woman Leave a comment
Get in line
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged dog, funeral, mother-in-law, wife Leave a comment
Funeral arrangements
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. “Sidney thought of everything,” she told them. “Just before he died, Sidney called me to his … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged casket, diamond, funeral, gasket, husband, stone, widow, wife Leave a comment
Top 10 worst things to say at a funeral
11) I’m spiking the punch at the reception. That’ll liven things up! 10) Hey! Did I just see the dead guy move? 9) Hey, this is the first time Grandpa’s been stiff in twenty years! 8) The sonofabitch is lucky … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged funeral, top 10 list Leave a comment
Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer’s funeral?
Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer’s funeral? There are only two handles on a garbage can.
The Lawyer’s Funeral
A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, … Continue reading