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Tag Archives: employment
New rules for employment
SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as … Continue reading
No nuts is an advantage
A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, “Do you have any military experience?” The Marine replied, “Why, yes! I’ve been in the … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged disability, employment, interview, job, marine, testicle, war Leave a comment
Performance evaluations
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Office Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged employee, employment, performance, top 10 list Leave a comment
Recruiting
A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged accident, employment, heaven, hell, recruiter, St. Peter, woman Leave a comment
FBI interview
Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, ”To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Police Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged agent, employment, FBI, gun, husband, interview, kill, wife Leave a comment
Real job application
This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald’s. They hired him. NAME – Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION – Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Office Jokes, Restaurant Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged application, employment, job, McDonald's Leave a comment
Blonde lumberjack
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. “Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Country Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged blonde, Canada, chainsaw, employment, job, lumberjack, tree Leave a comment
Employee of the month
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. (1) ”Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.” (2) ”His men would follow him anywhere, ……. but … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged company, employment, office, report, top 10 list Leave a comment
Blonde looking for a job
A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED. ”Yes.”
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged application, blonde, employment, job, salary Leave a comment
The lumberjack
A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged Canada, employment, forest, interview, job, lumberjack, Sahara Leave a comment
Bilingual dog
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. “Well,” says the personnel director, “You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.” Sitting down at the typewriter, the … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes Tagged bilingual, dog, employment, FBI, interview, job, police Leave a comment
A job interview
Gary wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: “What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading … Continue reading
Silly lines
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I … Continue reading