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Tag Archives: doctor
Hearing problem
A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, ”Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” ”Well,” … Continue reading
Burnt ears
A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened. “The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.” “What about the other one?” “They called back.”
The engineer at the golf course
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” “Ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, People Jokes, Sports Jokes Tagged blind, doctor, engineer, golf, priest Leave a comment
Bad news
Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How about the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged bad news, doctor, good news, patient Leave a comment
Brain transplant
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ”Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.” ”Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives. ”For a male brain, $500,000. … Continue reading
Surgeon’s favourite
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes Tagged accountant, doctor, electrician, lawyer, librarian Leave a comment
Price of heart
A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged doctor, heart, kid, lawyer, smoker, sports Leave a comment
Hot bath
Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he’d become comfortable, the front doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on terry cloth slippers and a large towel, wrapped his head in a smaller towel, … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged bath, doctor, salesman Leave a comment
Blonde on a diet
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days — “Eat anything and everything you … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged blonde, diet, doctor, hospital, skip Leave a comment
Get your oil changed
There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged baby, doctor, hospital, husband, marriage, old, sex Leave a comment
Gassy granny
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged doctor, fart, hearing, hospital, sinuses Leave a comment
Medical term and plain English
The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged doctor, exam, lazy, medical, term, wife Leave a comment
The advantages of being a doctor
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “A doctor?” “And why’s that?” “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged bill, clothes, doctor, husband, woman Leave a comment
Having to face the fact
Dermatologist: Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I’m happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples. Girl: Wow! That’s great! Why? Dermatologist: There’s no more space.
Good news and bad news
An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, let me have the bad news first.” Doctor: “You have … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Police Jokes Tagged bad news, doctor, good news, medical examination Leave a comment
Blonde suicide
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. “How did this happen?” the doctor asked. “Well I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “Trying to commit suicide by shooting … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes Tagged blonde, breast, doctor, ear, finger, gun, suicide, tooth Leave a comment
Lawyer brains
A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says ‘brains for sale.’ He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says ‘Doctor brains $8.00 a pound’ and another sign that says ‘Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 … Continue reading
Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes Tagged brain, doctor, lawyer, price, store Leave a comment
Not allowed up on the furniture
A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, doctor! I’ve got this problem,” the man said. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, People Jokes Tagged animal, doctor, dog, furniture, hospital, man, psychiatrist Leave a comment
Why did you eat him?
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Kids Jokes, People Jokes Tagged baby, boy, doctor, hospital, mother, pregnant, stomach, woman Leave a comment
How do you like that?
A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged baby, delivery, doctor, father, husband, sex, woman Leave a comment