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Tag Archives: computer
Computer gender
Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. They are … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Computer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged accessory, computer, data, female, gender, language, male, sex Leave a comment
Computer dating
A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a penguin.
Posted in Animal Jokes, Computer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged animal, computer, date, penguin, sports, water Leave a comment
Mr. or Mrs. Computer?
Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or”She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged computer, female, male Leave a comment
Top ten signs your spouse is having a cyber affair
10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He’s gotten amazingly good … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged computer, date, husband, internet, sex, top 10 list, wife Leave a comment
Deleted characters
Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC? ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask: The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Country Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged computer, IBM, PC Leave a comment
Blonde secretary’s memo to her boss
(you need know y2k problem on old computers…) TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged blonde, calendar, computer, office Leave a comment
Bill Gates’ punishment
Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, People Jokes Tagged Bill Gates, computer, St. Peter Leave a comment
Email from a friend
Email from a friend: “CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?”
If XXX made toasters
If Oracle made toasters… They’d claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you’d discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away and … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Science Jokes Tagged computer, HP, IBM, Microsoft, Oracle, software, toaster Leave a comment
Bill Gates and General Motors
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. “If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades,” boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it … Continue reading
A man with no ears
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged accident, computer, contact lense, ear, interview Leave a comment
Computer vs. air conditioner
How is a computer like an air conditioner? When you open Windows it won’t work!
Posted in Computer Jokes, Short Q & A Tagged air conditioning, computer, crash, Microsoft, Windows Leave a comment
You’ve got mail
A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged blonde, computer, email, letter, mail Leave a comment
Press F1 for help
My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Campus Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged blonde, computer, lab, tech support Leave a comment
My computer crashed
Customer: “My computer crashed!” Tech Support: “It crashed?” Customer: “Yeah, it won’t let me play my game.” Tech Support: “All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.” Customer: “No, it didn’t crash-it crashed.” Tech Support: “Huh?” Customer: “I crashed my game. That’s … Continue reading
Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0
MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading
Posted in Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged bug, computer, girl friend, husband, mistress, popup, resource, upgrade, wife Leave a comment
It’s an hour fast!
A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that’s a really fancy watch.” “Thanks, says the guy, “It’s the cutting … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged bar, computer, drink, girl, man, panties, technology, watch Leave a comment
Bill Gates in hell
Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged beach, Bill Gates, computer, demo, heaven, hell, screen saver, St. Peter, woman Leave a comment
Acronyms of the computer industry
1. PCMCIA People Canot Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms 2. ISDN It Still Does Nothing 3. APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity 4. SCSI System Canot See It 5. DOS Defunct Operating System 6. BASIC Billos Attempt to Seize Industry Control 7. … Continue reading
Posted in Computer Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged acronym, cobol, computer, DOS, IBM, ISDN, LISP, Microsoft, network, web Leave a comment
Jesus saves
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes Tagged computer, email, God, Jesus, lightning, power cut, Satan, save Leave a comment
