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Tag Archives: beer
A cheap dinner
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged bar, beer, boss, food, sex, wife Leave a comment
International beer syndrome
An insect falls into a mug of beer. English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out. American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks the beer. Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer. … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Country Jokes, Politician Jokes Tagged beer, British, Chinese, Indian, insect, USA Leave a comment
Magic beer
So this guy walks into a bar and says, “Gve me two beers.” The bartender obliges him. The guy looks into his wallet and says, “Give me two more beers.” So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man … Continue reading
Piss in the boat
Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water. One of the men picked it up and rubbed it, causing a genie to explode from the lamp. Unfortunately, it was a very low-level genie and … Continue reading
Posted in Genie Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged beer, boat, fishing, genie, pee Leave a comment
Beer and female hormones
“Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains large traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and … Continue reading
Top 10 reasons for being an American
1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading
Posted in Alaska Jokes, American Jokes, Politician Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged America, beer, buddy, gun, president, top 10 list, USA, woman Leave a comment
How to impress a woman, and a man
1) Wine her. 2) Dine her. 3) Call her. 4) Hug her. 5) Hold her. 6) Surprise her. 7) Compliment her. 8) Smile at her. 9) Laugh with her. 10) Cry with her 11) Cuddle with her. 12) Shop with … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged beer, flower, hug, jewelry, man, nake, poem, sex, woman Leave a comment
If men ruled the world
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes Tagged beer, game, girl, girl friend, man, resume, rule, telephone, Valentine's day 1 Comment
Men and Women
I’M GLAD I’M A MAN I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe; I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged beer, breast, club, diet, man, penis, woman Leave a comment
Open a beer
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it to you.
Posted in Bar Jokes, Restaurant Jokes, Short Q & A Tagged beer, man, waitress, woman Leave a comment
Rejected
These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged beer, heaven, husband, marriage, money, St. Peter, wife Leave a comment
Ready to go home
There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged bar, beer, home, husband, photo, wife Leave a comment
We are on the patch
Two blondes are driving down the freeway chugging a few beers when they see a road block ahead with police checking for drunk drivers. The blonde in the passenger seat starts to panic and the driver tells her to calm … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Police Jokes Tagged beer, blonde, car, drive, highway, police Leave a comment
Drinking buddies
Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says “So where are you from, then?” “I’m from Ireland.” … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, British Jokes, Family Jokes, New York Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes Tagged bar, beer, drink, Irish, New York Leave a comment
Hymn #365
A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression, he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” With even greater emphasis, he said, “And if I … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes Tagged beer, church, drink, Hymn, river, sermon, wine Leave a comment
Time to go home
Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day’s work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked … Continue reading
Before it starts
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged beer, home, husband, marriage, TV, wife Leave a comment
Insane asylum fence
A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can’t help … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged beer, curious, eye, fence, man, mental hospital Leave a comment
How much should I drink?
A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Restaurant Jokes Tagged bar, beer, home, wife 1 Comment
Female hormones in beer
Two men were in a pub. One man said, ”Did you know that beer contains female hormones?” The other man said, ”No! Is it true?” ”Yes,” said the first man. ”If you drink too much, you start talking crap and … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged beer, drive, female Leave a comment