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Tag Archives: bar
Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and … Continue reading
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy … Continue reading
Bob is a regular guy and he is out at a local bar one night having a good time. Jack, the bartender and owner of the bar, offered him another drink and as he did Bob spoke up. ‘Hey Jack, … Continue reading
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “May I help you, sir?” The duck says, “Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass.”
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and … Continue reading
Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were making merry in a serious way and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big. His curiosity finally got the better of him … Continue reading
So this guy walks into a bar and says, “Gve me two beers.” The bartender obliges him. The guy looks into his wallet and says, “Give me two more beers.” So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man … Continue reading
Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. “My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his … Continue reading
There was this bartender and he was working at the bar one night. In walked a group of blondes and they were chanting ”44 days! 44 days!” One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in … Continue reading
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. … Continue reading
A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking girl and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother … Continue reading
A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls … Continue reading
A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. “Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried … Continue reading
A woman wearing a tank-top sits down at a bar and raises her hand to gain the bartender’s attention, exposing a tuft of underarm hair that had not seen a razor in months. The bartender, noticing the sickened look on … Continue reading
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. “WOW!” was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks … Continue reading
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ”Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?” Then the lady answered, ”Excuse me, I think this is a … Continue reading
A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that’s a really fancy watch.” “Thanks, says the guy, “It’s the cutting … Continue reading
A ducks walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?” The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any … Continue reading
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a … Continue reading