Tag Archives: animal

Butterfly

curious-man-studying-girls-buttocks

Why did the moron throw the butter out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.

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Four men and their dogs

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Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T- square trotted over to … Continue reading

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Smart Dog

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A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in … Continue reading

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Computer dating

funny-wedding-animal-legs-bride-legs

A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a penguin.  

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Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat

Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat

1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They’re totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. … Continue reading

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How to bath a cat

How to bath a cat

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open … Continue reading

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Horse identification

funny-horse-ride-dog

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “what’s the matter?” The fellow replies, “well I’ve got these two horses (sniff,sniff), and well… I can’t tell them apart. … Continue reading

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Matzo ball soup

funny-bush-picking-up-phone

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby. They arrived and Dubya’s friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George … Continue reading

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A math question

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Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Patty: Seven! Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, … Continue reading

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First sex with sheep

group-sex-doggy-style

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where h’d first had sex. “It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and … Continue reading

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Gorilla in a Tree

funny-dog-taking-bag-on-bicycles

As he is quietly watching television at home, a man hears a sound on the roof of his house and rushes out to investigate. Seeing it is a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly calls up … Continue reading

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A parrot on the plane

sex-education-she-may-look-clean-but

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, … Continue reading

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Difference between woman and dog

mimi-skirt-girl-fuck-you

What’s the difference between a woman and dog at your front door? The dog will stop barking once you let it in!

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Feed the goldfish

funny-curious-dolphin-kissing-woman

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, ”Now, what do I give them … Continue reading

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Return the bird dog

funny-dog-trapped-in-tree

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a bird dog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet … Continue reading

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The other side

funny-fail-advertisement-yahoo-404

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One fine day, the bear was sitting on a … Continue reading

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Animals and fridge!

funny-Shopping-Bag-fitness-lady

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. 2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, … Continue reading

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Got any grapes?

funny-Shopping-Bag-groose

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?” The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any … Continue reading

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Cat scan

funny-dog-and-puppet

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn’t at her feet. She found him in … Continue reading

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Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered

funny-horse-ride-dog

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. ”Well, now,” says the … Continue reading

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