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Tag Archives: airplane
No-so-dumb blonde
One day a blonde was sitting on a plane next to one of those smart businessmen. He asks her if she would like to play a game. She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway. He … Continue reading
Not a flight instructor?
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged airplane, fire, instructor, photographer Leave a comment
Sweet talk
On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying “Pass the sugar, sugar…. Pass the honey, honey.” Then he says, “Pass the tea, you old … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged airplane, honey, husband, wife Leave a comment
Top 10 bad things to hear on an airplane
10. This is your captain speaking and I don’t feel that life is worth living anymore. 9. We’re cruising at an altitude of… ah, hell, I don’t know. 8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged airplane, captain, top 10 list Leave a comment
Tonto Kawalski
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, … Continue reading
Posted in Hotel and Travel Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes Tagged airplane, penis, Poland, sex, woman Leave a comment
We’re going to get help
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. ”Good Lord!” he screamed, ”one of the engines just blew up!” Other passengers left their seats and came running over. Suddenly, the aircraft was rocked … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged airplane, engine, explode, parachute, passenger, pilot Leave a comment
First class blonde
A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section. The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes Tagged airplane, attendant, blonde, first class, pilot, seat, woman Leave a comment
Feel like a woman
I’m sitting on this plane, eating my dinner, when all of a sudden the captain comes on the loudspeaker and tells us that the plane is about to crash land into the mountains. The next thing I know this woman … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged airplane, date, iron, man, sex, woman Leave a comment
The secret of speed
Plane: How do you fly so fast? Rocket: You’ll know when your ass is on fire!
A military cargo plane
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Kids Jokes, People Jokes Tagged airplane, cargo, child, military, missile, pistol, weapon Leave a comment
A parrot on the plane
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes Tagged airplane, animal, coffee, complain, fly, parrot, stewardess, whisky Leave a comment
Good news, bad news
One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane. When he jumped there was good and bad news…. Good news: He had a parachute. Bad News: It didnt work. Good News: There was a haystack down below. … Continue reading
Posted in Hotel and Travel Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes Tagged airplane, fork, haystack, news, parachute Leave a comment
Parachute
Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, “My country … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes Tagged accident, airplane, girl, parachute, politician, president Leave a comment
Flighty Blonde
What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? Must be an earthquake!
Do Not Disturb
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged airplane, blonde, captain, crew, flight attendant, hotel, pilot, room Leave a comment
Blonde in first class cabin
A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes Tagged airplane, blonde, captain, coach, first calss, flight attendant, New York, seat, woman Leave a comment
Ten dollars is ten dollars
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, ”Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Martha would say, ”I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes Tagged airplane, fair, husband, money, pilot, wife Leave a comment
This is a recording
A plane was once flying over an island when the passengers heard the pilot’s voice: “Ladies & Gentlemen, if you look on the right side of the plane, you’ll see an engine on fire. If you look on the left … Continue reading
Posted in Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged airplane, captain, engine, fire, parachute, pilot, recording, wing Leave a comment
Blind pilots
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, … Continue reading
Posted in Hotel and Travel Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes Tagged airline, airplane, blind, cockpit, passenger, pilot Leave a comment
Thaw the chicken
Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, British Jokes, Office Jokes, Science Jokes Tagged airplane, British, chicken, gun, NASA, train Leave a comment