Category Archives: Top 10 List

it is top 10, maybe top 20 lists for laughing

Only in America

american-flag-model-bikini

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons for being an American

funny-pose-obama-enjoying-blow-job

1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading

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How to impress a woman, and a man

how-to-please-a-woman

1) Wine her. 2) Dine her. 3) Call her. 4) Hug her. 5) Hold her. 6) Surprise her. 7) Compliment her. 8) Smile at her. 9) Laugh with her. 10) Cry with her 11) Cuddle with her. 12) Shop with … Continue reading

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Top ten… sleeping at desk

funny-obama

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading

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What I want in a man

old-man-and-juicy-boobs

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover. What … Continue reading

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True newspaper clippings

funny-sign-ride-the-slut

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. FREE PUPPIES…PART GERMAN SHEPHERD – PART DOG 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 … Continue reading

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Texas Talkin’

funny-banana-corn

Here’s what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State… The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving = Not too smart As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person Tighter than bark on a … Continue reading

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How to mess with the IRS?

secret-operation

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) –Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from … Continue reading

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Difference between men and women

funny-man-with-two-girls

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never … Continue reading

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Acronyms of the computer industry

sexy-girls-big-breast-hide-some-keys-in-keyboard

1. PCMCIA People Canot Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms 2. ISDN It Still Does Nothing 3. APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity 4. SCSI System Canot See It 5. DOS Defunct Operating System 6. BASIC Billos Attempt to Seize Industry Control 7. … Continue reading

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Men vs. Women

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, … Continue reading

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Hilarious signs

funny-shit-slogan-i-dont-need-sex

Over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.” Pizza shop … Continue reading

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Old tech support junks

funny-game-over-wedding-cake

1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to … Continue reading

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Reflections

funny-shark-design-building

1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. 3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take … Continue reading

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Employee of the month

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. (1) ”Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.” (2) ”His men would follow him anywhere, ……. but … Continue reading

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The rules (by her)

how-to-get-a-man-to-wash-his-hands

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change … Continue reading

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Oreo personality test

funny-shadow-illusion-not-breast-just-cups

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight in to their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos: 1. The whole thing all at once. 2. One bite … Continue reading

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You know you’re from Michigan when…

porn-snow-man

1) You define summer as three months of bad sledding. 2) You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder. 3) Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of beer and a bucket of smelt. 4) Owning … Continue reading

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Funny and real instruction labels…

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving … Continue reading

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Top 10 things only women understand

funny-tear-off-my-number

10) Cats’ facial expressions. 9) The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8) Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds. 7) “Fat” clothes. 6) Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5) The … Continue reading

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