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Category Archives: Science Jokes
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the … Continue reading
Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or”She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should … Continue reading
10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous? 9) Is lighter fluid flammable? 8) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff? 7) Are knives sharp? 6) Can sharks hurt a human? 5) What happens if I stick my hand … Continue reading
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam for May of 1997 consisted of only one question. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II … Continue reading
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, … Continue reading
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
If Oracle made toasters… They’d claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you’d discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away and … Continue reading
Always take the time to smell the roses… and sooner or later you’ll inhale a bee. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek… nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. If genius is 1% … Continue reading
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for. “In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” … Continue reading
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by … Continue reading
“Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains large traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and … Continue reading
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail … Continue reading
He’s teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, ”Now that’s addition.” And as he added smack by smack, in silent sanctification, she sweetly gave the kisses back and … Continue reading
Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable … Continue reading
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. ”Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, ”I … Continue reading
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on … Continue reading
Once upon a time NASA decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American … Continue reading
Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What is the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny replies, “HIJKLMNO”!! The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on Earth are you talking about?” Little Johnny replies, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”