Category Archives: Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes

this is hot jokes on man and woman, all aspects

Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…

Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s … Continue reading

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Top ten signs your spouse is having a cyber affair

stop-staring-tits, touch them

10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He’s gotten amazingly good … Continue reading

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Kiss Bush

funny-pose-I-enjoy-the-blow-job with Mr.McDonald

A wounded American soldier in a battlefield hospital in Iraq tells the nurse: “I wish I could kiss the American flag if I am going to die!” Nurse, extremely touched by the soldier’s patriotism: “Actually, I have the American flag … Continue reading

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Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date

Playboy and boobs

1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading

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Top 10 blonde FAQs

funny-tree-braid, blonde girl

1. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she’s pregnant. 2. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. 3. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? … Continue reading

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Period

kids kissing in classroom

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them … Continue reading

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Arbor Day

funny-feminist-shoes-naked-man-as-heel

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading

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Top 10 differences between man and woman

curious-man-studying-girls-buttocks

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow … Continue reading

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Therapy

funny-erection-due-to-two-girls

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males … Continue reading

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Sticky and wet

Sticky and wet

What goes in hard and comes out sticky and wet? Bubble gum, you sicko!

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A child’s pray

A child

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.” The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next … Continue reading

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Kiss your cheek

Kiss your cheek

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate … Continue reading

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Top 10 rejection lines for male and female

Top 10 rejection lines for male and female

10. I think of you as a brother.Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’ 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don’t want to do my dad. 8. I’m not attracted to you … Continue reading

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Stand in line for that too

funny-dogs-queue-for-peeing-on-a-tree

During a busy Pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport, a crowded flight was cancelled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on … Continue reading

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Magic beer

bad-kid-drinking-smoking

So this guy walks into a bar and says, “Gve me two beers.” The bartender obliges him. The guy looks into his wallet and says, “Give me two more beers.” So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man … Continue reading

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Translating male phrases

wine-baby-feeding

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It’s a guy thing.” Really means…. “There is no … Continue reading

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The perfect wife

female-santa-claus

What is the perfect wife? A good-looking, sex-craved, chef who owns a liquor store.

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The eve of creation

checking-boobs

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” God asks her. “Lord,” she says, “I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all … Continue reading

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The lost chapter in Genesis

yes-buttocks

Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. So God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that … Continue reading

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3 eggs and 10,000 dollars

cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. “Oh, that,” … Continue reading

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