Category Archives: Miscellaneous Jokes

all other jokes

Funny and real instruction labels…

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving … Continue reading

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Blind pilots

funny-eyes

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, … Continue reading

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Dragging feet

funny-fountain-peeing-woman

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, ”Vietnam, 1969.” The other points his … Continue reading

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Follow tracks

how-to-take-photo-for-frog

Three men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it crashed. They were the only people who survived. They decided that starting the next morning one of them would go out and make weapons and see if he … Continue reading

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How to handle telemarketing calls

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

One thing that has always bugged me, and I’m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, … Continue reading

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Woman’s Intelligence

funny-shopping-bag-sexy-thigh

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so. The first man prayed to God, saying, “Please … Continue reading

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Chocolate ice cream

customer-feedback-in-restaurant

A lady walked into a convenience store and asked the clerk for a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk told the lady “Miss, we are all out of chocolate ice cream.” The lady says “Oh, okay. Give me a … Continue reading

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You’ve got a mail

funny-failed-advertisement-yahoo

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little … Continue reading

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Tale of the two dead boys

One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight, Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot … Continue reading

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The golden toilet

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldn’t quite remember the address to the house. ”I’m sure this is the one,” said the driver. ”Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD.” … Continue reading

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Eye to eye

What did the right eye say to the left eye? Just between you and me. Something smells.

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Pa won’t like It

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon … Continue reading

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The balcony

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, ”Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher … Continue reading

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Squawks

Squawks are problems left behind by airplane pilots that are checked for each night. These problems are always solved before the next flight. Here are some actual problems (P) and their solutions (S). (P) Left inside main tire almost needs … Continue reading

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Train ticket

Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to watch their team play the Red Sox. They start making fun of a couple of Red Sox supporters who only have one ticket between the two of them. Just … Continue reading

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The ‘hind-lick’ maneuver

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two country boys in the … Continue reading

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Skeleton crossing the road

Why’d the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.

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