Category Archives: Miscellaneous Jokes

all other jokes

A rare book

funny-reading-book-cover-in-train

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” Gasped … Continue reading

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Blonde with chickens

Blonde with chickens

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, ”What do you have in the bag?” The blonde replies: ”I have chickens!” The man thinks for … Continue reading

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How to bath a cat

How to bath a cat

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open … Continue reading

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Move your cat

Move your cat

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and … Continue reading

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Spelling

Spelling

A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on a vacation so he asked the man to take over while he was away. God told the man to give everyone a test before letting them into heaven. … Continue reading

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Rate your Chrsitmas party

free-blow-job-if-you-buy-coke-here

Next time, make sure your party reaches the correct “Festivity Level….” Festivity Level One: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling on … Continue reading

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A day of a deer hunter

funny-kangaroo

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00 A.M. Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed. 2:30 A.M. Throw everything but kitchen sink in camper. 3:00 A.M. Leave for deep woods. 3:15 A.M. Drive back home and pick up gun. … Continue reading

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Mother-in-law

funny-mating-giraffe-and-horse

A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking. To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from … Continue reading

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Parrot boy

funny-hairdo-mouth-eyes-nose

There was a old man sitting on a bench outside the mall. A young man walked who had spiked hair that was orange, yellow, green and red. The old man just looked at him. The young man said ” What’s … Continue reading

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Cute little sayings

buttocks-shot

1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane. 3. It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at  the end. 4. The problem with the … Continue reading

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A few philisophical statements, not pickup lines

facebook-bra

Always take the time to smell the roses… and sooner or later you’ll inhale a bee. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek… nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. If genius is 1% … Continue reading

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Long, hard and…

checking-boyfriend-bird

Q: What is long, hard, and filled with semen? A: A submarine.

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Wrong flower cards

funny-pose-I-can-find-the-bird

I sent flowers to someone who was moving to Florida for a job promotion. I also sent flowers the same day to a funeral for a friend. I found out later that the flower shop got the cards mixed up. … Continue reading

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I’m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass

dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting … Continue reading

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The windy day

dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human

George set out on a very windy day to see his friend Sam who was sick in bed. Hours later, he pulled his weary body into Sam’s house. Sam asked him how it was. ”I’ll tell ya, it was just … Continue reading

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Hot bath

book-bathtub

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he’d become comfortable, the front doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on terry cloth slippers and a large towel, wrapped his head in a smaller towel, … Continue reading

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Let me hold your monkey

bad-kid-drinking-smoking

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle … Continue reading

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The perfect man

funny-gorilla-enjoying-the-breast

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. … Continue reading

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FedEx UPS merger

facebook-bra

Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger? The new company’s gonna be called FedUp!

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2 Canadian guys

cheater-agirl-with-two-guys

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. “I have an idea,” said Mike. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up … Continue reading

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